


A Heart That's Been Loved

by JessAnn



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Powers, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, Sanvers - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-24
Updated: 2020-10-24
Packaged: 2021-03-08 17:15:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 26,662
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27000325
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JessAnn/pseuds/JessAnn
Summary: Having survived a life-threatening heart condition and now fully recovered from surgery, Alex Danvers is facing a future she never thought she’d have. A chance encounter brings Maggie Sawyer into her life, and Alex finds herself falling hard for the detective. Just as Alex begins to picture the possibility of a future with Maggie, a revelation could bring it all crashing down.
Relationships: Alex Danvers & Eliza Danvers, Alex Danvers & Kara Danvers, Alex Danvers/Maggie Sawyer
Comments: 364
Kudos: 183
Collections: Sanvers Big Bang | 2020





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much to [Dani](https://archiveofourown.org/users/DamnSawyer/pseuds/DamnSawyer) for creating the wonderful art for this story! I loved getting to see someone else’s interpretation of something I wrote! Make sure you check it out and give much-deserved kudos!
> 
> <https://archiveofourown.org/works/26929324>  
> 
> 
> Also, a big thank you to [Deb](https://archiveofourown.org/users/wayhaughtearper/pseuds/wayhaughtearper) for being an awesome beta and helping boost my confidence as I worked my way through writing this story!
> 
> A thank you to the Sanvers Big Bang organizers for putting this event together. This is the first fic I have ever written. I’ve spent a lot of time reading all of the great work by the other authors on this site. This event got me to finally decide to take a leap and write one of my own. I’m really glad I did, and I hope you enjoy reading this story as much as I enjoyed writing it.
> 
> This story is very loosely based on a movie released 20 years ago. I’ll leave the name of the movie in the notes at the end of the story so I don’t give anything away.
> 
> Thank you so much for reading!

Alex lay in the bed, eyes closed, drifting in the void between awake and asleep to the beeping of a heart monitor. _Her_ heart monitor. She’d barely left this hospital bed since she’d been admitted a couple of weeks ago. Alex could feel her body growing weaker each day. Fucking deteriorating heart. 

A nearby rustling awoke Alex fully. She opened her eyes to see her mother shifting in the hospital recliner stationed by the bed and looking at the tablet in her lap. Eliza glanced up to see Alex watching her.

“Hey, Sweetie. Is there anything I can get for you?”

Alex shook her head slightly and answered quietly. “I’m okay.”

“Well, while you’ve been dozing, I’ve been looking through the dozens of floral arrangement ideas Kara has been sending. I think the battle of keeping your welcome home party simple is well and truly lost,” Eliza commented, holding up her tablet for Alex to see the multiple pictures of brightly colored flowers filling the screen.

Alex smiled weakly as her eyes slipped closed again. Kara was determined that Alex would be returning home soon. Alex wasn’t as sure. Holding out hope was getting harder with each passing day. She had experienced innumerable highs and lows battling her heart condition. But this time was different. This time, the doctors weren’t able to offer alternative solutions. This time, the low kept getting lower. This time, Alex feared she was at the end. An end she wasn’t ready to meet.

Eliza’s voice broke through Alex’s thoughts. “And now Kara is sending pictures of cakes. Oh, wow. A lot of cakes. I think this one is made of donuts.”

Alex let out a laugh that caught in her throat and turned into a coughing fit, wracking her weak body. Tablet quickly abandoned, Eliza was out of her seat and by Alex’s side helping her to sit up and reaching for the cup of water on the bedside tray. Alex took small sips as the coughing was replaced by ragged breaths. Eliza repositioned Alex’s nasal cannula, and after a few more minutes, Alex’s breathing eased and Eliza helped her lay back in bed.

Alex looked at her mother as she fussed over Alex’s pillows and covers, noticing how tired Eliza looked even as she put on a facade that tried to say otherwise. Though she had been dozing on and off for the last few hours, Alex knew her mother had been by her bedside all afternoon. Alex dragged in a breath to speak. “Mom, you can leave for a while. I’ll be okay.”

Eliza shook her head, determination filling her features as she reached out to smooth Alex’s hair off of her forehead. “I’m fine right here.”

Alex turned her head away, her eyes closing. She loved her mother, but she hated being the reason Eliza was once again sitting in a hospital room with its terrible fluorescent lights, death lurking around the corner. At least one of them should get to enjoy life. “Go. Have dinner with Kara, or visit with J’onn.”

Picking up a damp washcloth lying next to a nearby basin, Eliza layed it across Alex’s forehead. “Kara is working on a deadline for a story. And J’onn and I had lunch together the other day. I’m not going anywhere.”

A silence fell between the women as Eliza dipped the washcloth in the basin and squeezed out the excess water before gently wiping the sides of Alex’s face. 

Alex studied Eliza. Through everything, her mother had found a superhuman strength. Strength to bury her husband after the car crash but be present for the daughter fighting to survive. Strength to continue to raise the young girl that had been her adopted daughter for less than a year. Strength to take care of her family and make sure they had everything they needed despite the hardships thrown in their path.

Alex opened her mouth to speak but closed it again. There were things she needed to say to her mother before it was too late. Finally, the words tumbled out. “Promise me you and Kara will take care of one another.”

Eliza froze and looked at Alex, brows furrowing. “What are you talking about?”

Alex shook her head, squeezing her eyes shut as a tear ran down her cheek. Twelve years. She had been battling for her life for twelve years. She may have survived the car crash that killed her father, but the trauma had left her with an irregular heartbeat. Despite all of the attempted treatments, her heart had grown weaker and weaker, and now her survival was dependent on a transplant. Alex didn’t know how much longer she could fight while waiting for a heart that seemed just outside her grasp. “What if I don’t get a heart in time?”

Eliza set the washcloth aside as she put her hands on either side of Alex’s face, wiping tears away with her thumbs. Alex’s eyes remained closed as she attempted to turn her head away.

“Alexandra, look at me.” Eliza patiently waited until Alex turned back and opened her eyes, sadness and resignation settling in them as she gazed at her mother. “You are going to get a heart. Do you know why?”

Alex’s eyes stayed on Eliza as she shook her head as much as she could in her mother’s grip. Eliza smiled back at her. “Because I refuse to let my daughter go without a fight. It’s been you, me, and Kara against the world for years now, and we’ve been through too much to lose hope and let a bad heart take you away from us.” Eliza’s thumbs stroked across Alex’s cheeks. “I know you’re tired, but don’t give up yet.”

Alex reached her hand up to squeeze Eliza’s arm. Eliza pressed a kiss to Alex’s forehead before releasing her face to reach into the basin and retrieve the washcloth again. She gently wiped away the tear tracks on Alex’s cheeks. “You know, once you get that heart, you’re going to be able to do all of the things you’ve always wanted to do. That’s what I want you to focus on.” Eliza continued to wipe along Alex’s neck and arms with the washcloth as she spoke. “You can finally travel. Finish school.” Eliza paused before adding with a smile. “Go on all the dates you want.”

Alex huffed as she fought her own smile. “It’s a new heart, Mom. Not a new ass.”

Eliza laughed as she placed the washcloth back in the basin and squeezed Alex’s hand. “Either way, you deserve to do anything you want when all of this is finally over. Just maybe don’t let Kara set you up on any blind dates. We both know how that turned out for me.”

Alex couldn’t help but chuckle, allowing a feeling of hope to creep back into her chest.

An hour later, Eliza had settled back into the hospital recliner with her tablet as Alex dozed to an episode of Mythbusters when her cardiologist, Dr. Hamilton, rushed into the room.

“We have a heart.”

Alex’s eyes flew open as Eliza abandoned her tablet and quickly stood and moved to her daughter’s bedside. “What?”

Taking a calming breath, Dr. Hamilton repeated, “We have a heart. It’s the best match we could have hoped for. We have to get Alex prepped for surgery immediately.”

Staring at the doctor as the meaning of the words washed over her, Alex felt her hope renew and spread throughout her chest, filling the area that would soon contain her new heart.

Eliza grabbed Alex’s hand. “How much time until you take Alex to surgery?”

“We have to draw a new blood sample and do a quick chest x-ray, so about an hour,” Dr. Hamilton answered, looking at the two women. “We’re lucky the heart is already here, but we’re still on a time crunch if we want it to remain viable.”

Alex felt Eliza squeeze her hand and looked up at her mother. “I’m going to call Kara and J’onn, but I’ll be right back. Okay?”

Nodding at her mother, Alex replied with a quiet, “Okay.”

As Eliza stepped out of the room, cell phone already to her ear, another woman in scrubs walked in to draw Alex’s blood. 

Time seemed to blur as Alex was transported for her chest x-ray and afterward as the cardiothoracic surgeon and other members of her surgery team came to the room to speak with her about the procedure. Alex answered all of their questions and asked a few of her own, even as she continued to grapple with the idea that she was about to get a new heart.

Dr. Hamilton finished explaining the procedure as Alex was wheeled out of her room. Eliza walked by her side clinging to her hand. “We’ll send someone out at the halfway point to give you an update.”

Alex’s eyes brightened at the sight of Kara walking down the hall, J’onn close behind. “You’re here.”

Kara put a hand on her sister’s arm, the other stroking her forehead. “Of course I’m here.”

“J’onn,” Alex smiled, her eyes falling on the older man. “Thank you. For everything.”

Laying a hand on Alex’s leg, J’onn shook his head, “There is nothing to thank me for. You are my family.” 

Alex’s smile widened at these words from the man that had become a second father to her. He had suffered his own tragedy with the loss of his wife and daughters a few years before coming into the Danvers’ lives. After Jeremiah’s death, J’onn hadn’t hesitated to step up and help in any way he could. His presence had helped the Danvers women put the shattered pieces of their lives back together as much as they helped heal his broken heart.

Looking at her family standing around her, Alex took a breath and spoke the words that were weighing on her at this moment. “If I don’t make it through this, know that I love you all so much. Take care of each other.”

Eliza, Kara, and J’onn all moved in closer to Alex. Kara rested her forehead against Alex’s. “You will make it through this. You have so much life left to live.”

“That’s what I told her,” Eliza smiled, eyes filled with tears.

Dr. Hamilton stepped up to the bed. “Alright, we need to take her back now.”

Eliza gave Alex’s hand one last squeeze as Kara kissed her on the forehead. “I love you.”

The bed began to roll away as the nurses and doctor moved Alex down the hall.

“We’ll see you soon, Alex,” J’onn called after her.

Alex watched her family as she was wheeled away. Kara leaned into Eliza who’s arms immediately wrapped around her. J’onn stood behind them with a hand on each of their shoulders. Alex gave them a smile and a small wave, hoping it wouldn’t be the last time she would see them.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **1 ½ Years Later**

  
The sun warmed Alex’s skin as she watched people strolling along the sidewalk by the café. She could see the Eiffel Tower in the distance, imagining the view of the city from the top. Alex couldn’t wait to experience that view for herself. Lifting her espresso to her lips, she felt a hand brush along her shoulders.

“Hey, Alex.”

She looked up at the woman taking the seat across from her, her face a blur. Alex tried to concentrate on features that wouldn’t come into focus as she heard the woman say her name again, but this time from a distance.

“Earth to Alex.”

The café faded away as Kara’s form appeared in front of her. Alex’s daydream was replaced with the small rooftop garden where she had been sitting for the past hour, scribbling in the journal laying open in her lap and thinking about the envelope tucked inside the cover. Alex shook the vision away as she closed the journal and looked up at her sister. “Hey, Kara. What’s up?”

“I was grabbing a to-go order from Al’s and thought I’d check in on you,” Kara answered as she plucked a daisy from a nearby flowerbed.

The building below had been purchased by J’onn when it had still been a dive bar. After a bit of renovating and a good scrub down, it was reopened with much the same ambiance but now as a family-friendly restaurant. The fact that it seemed to be named after one of his favorite people was a mere coincidence, though J’onn had never considered changing the name to anything else.

Much of Kara’s college years had been spent serving tables in the dining room. During times when Alex felt well enough, she had helped where she could. After her transplant and once she had recovered and was healthy enough to live on her own, J’onn had offered her the apartment above Al’s. 

Kara motioned toward the journal. “What are you writing?”

Shrugging, Alex picked at a torn corner of the journal. “Just adding to my list of travel destinations.”

Kara took a seat on the bench next to her sister, laying her arm across the back and squeezing Alex’s shoulder. “Maybe it’s time to finally make those dreams a reality? Visit some of those places on your list?”

“I don’t think I’m ready yet,” Alex replied, lightly rubbing along the scar in the middle of her chest hidden underneath her shirt.

Turning to fully face her sister, Kara took Alex’s hand in between both of her own. “Alex, it’s been over a year now. The transplant was successful. Your doctor said your recovery has been remarkable. It’s time you started enjoying your life.”

Alex closed her eyes, dropping her chin to her chest. “I know, Kara. It’s just,” Alex paused, trying to pull her thoughts together. She looked up into worried blue eyes. “I spent so much of my life preparing to die. I’m still figuring out how to live.”

Kara pulled her sister into a hug. “I’m sorry. I wasn’t trying to be pushy.”

“I know,” Alex quietly replied, leaning into her sister’s embrace. After a moment, Alex pulled back. She hesitated before pulling a crisp white envelope from her journal. Opening the flap, Alex slowly pulled out a smaller blue, wrinkled envelope. “I, uh, I still have this, too.”

Kara looked between Alex and the letter in her hand. “I thought you sent that already.”

“I tried. I couldn’t do it.”

Alex stared at the blue envelope, the writing on the front staring back. 

_  
To My Donor'_ s _Family_

  
The letter inside had been written months ago. A letter that contained gratitude for the heart Alex had received and how the heart had saved her life. That had been the easier part to write about. The hard part of the letter was what held her back from sending it. 

All Alex had to do was seal this envelope inside the larger one with her information included on a slip of paper so the letter could be forwarded on to the correct recipient. She had written the address for the donor program multiple times only to discard the envelope once she’d talked herself out of sending it. This blue one with the letter tucked inside, however, she’d continued to carry around with her.

Kara sat quietly, leaving room for Alex to elaborate if she wanted. Alex stood, blue envelope still in hand, and began to pace in front of the bench.

“Every time I think about putting this in the mail, all I can think about is that my gain was their loss. How can I send a family a letter telling them how thankful I am, and in the same breath offer my condolences that someone they loved had to die so that I could be given the chance to live? How is it fair of me to remind them of their loss?”

Standing from the bench, Kara stepped into Alex’s path, stopping her pacing. “But what if knowing something good came from that loss makes it a little easier for them?”

Alex remained quiet, continuing to stare at the envelope. Kara placed her arms on Alex’s shoulders. “It’s been over a year, Alex. I’m not saying that makes a loss any easier. I still miss my parents every single day, but if I knew their deaths had saved someone else’s life. That would give me some peace.”

Alex nodded. A quick glance at her watch, and she was reaching for her journal. “I have to get going. I’m going to be late for my checkup.”

Kara looked at her sister hopefully. “I could drive you. Keep you company in the waiting room?”

“As much as I appreciate the offer,” Alex stated, tucking the blue envelope back inside the white one, “I’m going to take my bike.”

“Alex, no,” Kara frowned.

“Kara, yes,” Alex responded, stepping past her sister.

One of the favorite memories Alex had of her father was his love of motorcycles and letting Alex help him work on his own when she was young. Much to her mother’s dismay, he had gotten Alex a small dirt bike that he taught her to ride. 

After she recovered from the transplant, and the doctors hadn’t found any signs of rejection, Alex decided to use money from the settlement after the car accident and her father’s death to buy her dream bike, a brand new Ducati Monster. Alex had decided that beating death meant she could splurge a bit on herself. 

Alex’s motorcycle had been a topic of contention between the sisters since she had purchased it. Kara hated the bike from the moment Alex drove it home. In her words, her sister had finally survived her heart condition only to risk her life every time she took the bike out.

Following as Alex made her way toward the roof entrance to the building, Kara protested, “It makes me nervous whenever you ride that thing. And it’s not that I think you’re a bad driver. It’s the other drivers I don’t trust.”

Alex turned, causing Kara to stop short. The look of worry in her sister’s eyes forced Alex to pause and let go of her frustrations. She didn’t blame Kara for her reservations about the motorcycle. After Alex’s diagnosis, the sisters' roles had reversed. Kara had become the protector and the caretaker. She had done everything she could for Alex, often pushing her own needs aside. Even after the transplant, Kara felt the need to protect.

“Kara,” Alex said softly, “you just said it yourself that I need to enjoy life. My bike is one way that I am actually doing that. I know you worry, but you can’t keep me in a bubble.”

Kara nodded, looking at Alex with watery eyes. “I know.”

“Come here,” Alex said as she pulled her sister into an embrace. “You know I love you, even if you are a little overprotective.”

Kara laughed wetly as she pulled back and wiped her eyes. “I love you, too.”

“Now, I really have to go,” Alex replied, her hand on her sister’s shoulder, “but I will call you after my appointment.”

“You better,” Kara said, pointing her finger at Alex. “I expect a full report of everything the doctor says.”

Alex rolled her eyes, laughing as she turned to walk away. “Yes, Kara.”

After grabbing her jacket and helmet, Alex slipped the envelope in her inner jacket pocket and hopped on her bike, headed for the doctor’s office. She had owned the motorcycle for nearly a year now, but every ride was still exhilarating. The first time she took the bike out, Alex had driven until she found herself on a deserted, straight stretch of road. Daring to push the speedometer to a hundred, that ride was the closest Alex had ever felt to flying. When she had slowed and come to a stop, she could feel her heart beating rapidly in her chest, and for the first time, it didn’t scare her. Alex had decided that was a ride Kara didn’t need to know about.

At the doctor’s office, Alex was led back to an exam room and taken through the same routine as every visit. The nurse took a blood sample then checked her blood pressure and temperature. Once Dr. Hamilton came in, she did an echocardiogram, which always left Alex slightly awestruck. The moment she heard her heart beating, and then the image of her heart filled the monitor, the visual syncing up with the sound, Alex could only stare at the screen. That was her heart. Or it was her heart now. Alex continued to struggle with the idea that the heart had beat inside someone else’s chest first.

The doctor’s voice pulled Alex from her thoughts. “Everything looks good.”

Alex readjusted her exam gown to cover her chest and sat up. She nodded in response, “Good, that’s good.”

Dr. Hamilton finished writing her notes in Alex’s file. She looked up, smiling softly at Alex. “How are _you_ doing?”

“I’m good. Happy,” Alex replied. “I mean, of course, I am.”

“Why do you say of course?”

Alex glanced at Dr. Hamilton, seeing only kindness in her eyes. She had been a patient of the doctor since her initial diagnosis. Dr. Hamilton had been witness to almost every stage of emotion Alex possessed and had become someone outside of her family that she could confide in.

Alex glanced away before answering. “What right do I have to be anything but happy? I’m here, and someone else isn’t. I’m alive because someone died.”

“Alex.” Dr. Hamilton sat on the stool in front of the exam table and wheeled closer to her patient. “You are allowed to have good days and bad days. You can be sad and angry. Receiving this heart doesn’t mean you are required to feel guilty if you don’t spend every day cheerful and smiling. The heart was going to go to someone. It just happened that someone was you.”

Wiping her teary eyes, Alex laughed as she responded, “I think you missed your calling as a therapist.”

“Oh, no,” Dr. Hamilton chuckled, “Not enough excitement for me.”

“And being a cardiologist is?” Alex asked.

Dr. Hamilton looked at her pointedly. “Have you ever held a beating heart in your hand?”

Alex stared at her doctor before nodding her head. “Point taken.”

Gathering her files, Dr. Hamilton stepped to the door and turned to face Alex. “I will see you in six months. In the meantime, take advantage of the good days, but don’t begrudge the bad days.”

Alex smiled in response. “Thank you, Dr. Hamilton.”

As the doctor left the room, Alex let her advice sink in and decided it might be time to stop being so hard on herself and fully enjoy this life she was getting to live.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Make sure you give Dani much-deserved love and kudos for the artwork!
> 
> <https://archiveofourown.org/works/26929324>


	3. Chapter 3

Once the appointment was over, Alex changed back into her clothes and put on her leather jacket before leaving the exam room. She stopped at the front desk and made her next appointment with the receptionist, who always handed Alex a sucker regardless of how old she had gotten. 

Leaving the office, Alex noticed a large postal service mailbox on the sidewalk a few feet away. She walked up to the box and pulled the white envelope from her inside jacket pocket. She stared at it for a moment before licking the flap and sealing it. Alex pulled the handle to open the mail drop door on the front of the mailbox. Holding out the letter, she let it hover over the opening. Alex debated with herself, trying to let Kara’s words from earlier convince her to drop the letter into the box. After a moment, Alex growled in frustration as she let the door close with a bang and shoved the letter back into her jacket pocket.

Alex stepped away in frustration, crossing her arms and finding herself in a standoff with a metal box. Why couldn’t she just mail the letter? Kara wasn’t wrong. Sending the letter would likely give her donor’s family some peace. But she couldn’t do it. 

Sighing, Alex looked around and took in her surroundings. Across the street and a block down, Alex noticed a bar. She didn’t drink, it wasn’t advised after having a transplant. But maybe just going in and sitting down would give her a moment to think. Figuring she had nothing to lose, Alex made her way down the street.

Stepping inside to the dim lighting was a contrast to the bright sunlight outdoors. Alex walked toward the farthest end of the bar and slid onto a stool. A bartender appeared from the back, arms filled with various liquor bottles that he sat on the counter before turning to Alex. “What can I get you?”

“Just water, please.”

The bartender scooped ice into a glass before filling it with water and setting it in front of Alex. “Enjoy,” he remarked before going back to his liquor bottles and organizing them along the back wall.

Alex took a sip of her water before looking around at the bar’s interior. There were a few other people sitting at tables as they talked and laughed. Glancing at her watch, Alex figured the after-work crowd would begin to fill the rest of the tables. As she turned back around, a pride flag hanging above the door caught her eye. A warmth filled Alex’s chest at the sight of the flag, and her thoughts drifted to her own recent journey of realizing she was gay.

After her surgery, as she recovered and regained her strength, Alex had found herself craving intimacy and a relationship, two things she’d never spent much time dwelling on before. But as she witnessed Kara’s attempts at dating, even though most of them didn’t work out, Alex couldn’t ignore the fist that squeezed in her chest as she wished to experience those things too.

Kara begged until Alex finally relented and allowed her sister to set her up on a few dates. But after each one fell flat with absolutely no chemistry, Alex started to think that maybe love wasn’t in the cards for her, and maybe intimacy just wasn’t something she was built for. 

Witnessing Alex’s struggle, Eliza sat her down and brought up the possibility that maybe it was  _ who _ she was dating that was the problem. A mother knows after all, and Eliza had noticed the way Alex lit up when a particular nurse was on rotation during her recovery after the transplant. It also shone a light on Alex’s obliviousness to flirting when Eliza pointed out how often said nurse snuck Alex an extra of her favorite fruit cup or the multiple times during her shift she stopped by the room to check on Alex.

At first, Alex pushed back, denying that she felt  _ that way _ about women. Maybe she just didn’t know how to date. And now here she was at the age of 28 trying to figure it out. She was stunted, that was all. But Alex spent the next few days obsessing over her mother’s words to her. As she thought back over her life looking through this new lense, Alex began to realize the times when what she thought was admiration for a woman in her life was actually a crush.

After unpacking years of denial, Alex finally admitted to Eliza that maybe what she had said was true after all. Telling Kara came next. Though the initial conversation left Alex believing her sister was disappointed, Kara cleared up the misunderstanding and assured her that she could never be disappointed and that she loved Alex and accepted her as she was. 

That soon led to Kara using a CatCo event to not so subtly introduce her sister to the very pretty, very gay paralegal she worked with at Catco. After a handful of dates and a night of slight fumbling but mostly great sex, Alex could confirm that yes, she was very, very gay. Her relationship with Jen, the paralegal, fizzled out in the end, but Alex’s world was in focus now.

Alex’s thoughts returned to the letter weighing heavily in her jacket's inner pocket as she took a sip of her water. She stared at her glass as all of her feelings and the words of advice Kara had given her swirled in her head. Alex was vaguely aware of movement next to her before a voice spoke.

“With a look that intense, I’d be happy to offer to buy you something a bit harder.”

Alex’s head snapped up to find brown eyes looking back. Taking in the rest of the features of the person the voice had come from, Alex found beautiful, flowing dark hair framing those eyes, a cute nose, and a smile with,  _ oh god _ , dimples. Alex continued to stare dumbly back as her brain fumbled for a response.

“I don’t drink,” she finally stammered.

The brown eyes widened as both the smile and, sadly, the dimples disappeared. “Oh, shit. I’m sorry.”

The concern now reflected in those eyes pulled Alex out of her stupor. “No, don’t worry. It’s a, uh, personal choice.”

“Oh, okay.” The woman slid onto the stool next to Alex. “Maybe I could offer my excellent listening skills and sage advice in place of alcohol?”

The dimples returned, and Alex couldn’t keep herself from smiling back.

“Why don’t we start with introductions?” The woman held a hand out to Alex. “Hi, I’m Maggie Sawyer.”

Alex reached out with her own hand, noting the soft skin and firm grip as she shook the offered hand. “Alex Danvers.”

“I’ll have what she’s having.” Maggie pointed at Alex’s water when the bartender turned his attention to Maggie.

“You don’t have to do that. It’s okay if you want to have a drink. Don’t let me stop you.”

Maggie shook her head. “It’s okay. I’m on-call tonight. Probably best to stay sober in case the precinct calls.”

“Police officer?” Alex asked, already feeling herself being drawn in by the woman sitting next to her.

“Detective, actually, with the NCPD,” Maggie answered before taking a drink of the water placed in front of her by the bartender. “So, why the intense staredown with your glass?”

Alex glanced away, letting out a short laugh. “It’s nothing.”

Maggie tilted her head as she looked Alex over. “You did hear me say I’m a detective? That means I detect. Judging by the slouched posture and cute but very present crinkle between your eyebrows, I’d say something’s bothering you, Danvers.”

Alex quickly straightened in her seat as she stared at Maggie, weighing the risk of confiding in this woman she’d met only moments ago. She couldn’t deny there was something in her gut telling her that she could trust Maggie. Finally letting go of the internal debate, Alex decided to go with her instincts. Slouching against the bar once more, she reached up to rub at the spot on her forehead. “Damn crinkle.”

Letting out a quiet laugh, Maggie angled her body more toward Alex as she waited for her to talk about what was bothering her.

Alex took a drink, gathering her thoughts. While she felt compelled to confide in the detective, she wasn’t ready to lay her entire life out on the bar in front of them. She let out a sigh before speaking. “I have this letter. I wrote it a few months ago. I haven’t been able to bring myself to send it.”

“Okay,” Maggie nodded in response, seeming to think over the information before continuing, “So this letter. Are you giving the recipient good news or bad news?”

Alex was grateful that Maggie avoided asking who specifically the letter was to. “Um, I guess it would be good news, but it’s going to be a reminder of something bad that happened.”

Maggie looked at Alex for a moment. “So you’re more worried about dredging up the bad?”

“Yeah.” Alex quietly replied.

Looking at the bartop, Maggie rubbed her chin. “Did this person you’re writing to cause the bad to happen?”

Alex quickly shook her head. “No.”

“Okay. Did they cause the good to happen?”

Alex wrapped her hands around her glass. “In a way, I guess. At least someone close to them did.”

Maggie reached across the tabletop and laid her hand on Alex’s arm. Alex immediately looked up, meeting Maggie’s eyes. Even through her jacket, Alex could feel the warmth radiating from Maggie’s hand. She absently wondered what it might feel like to have Maggie’s hand caressing her cheek, running through her hair, gripping her thigh. Maggie’s voice brought Alex’s attention back.

“I know we’ve only known one another for a whole fifteen minutes or so, but imagine if you were sending the letter to me. Even though it might be a reminder of something bad that happened, would it still be worth it if, in the end, it could give me even an ounce of happiness to know that something good came out of the bad?”

Alex allowed herself to get lost in the deep brown eyes looking at her as she thought over Maggie’s words. She knew the immediate answer in her heart was yes. She wasn’t fully sure why she so badly wanted to be the cause of any happiness for this near-complete stranger next to her but wasn’t that essentially what she’d be doing? She didn’t know the family she was sending the letter to. But if she knew she could bring just a small amount of happiness to Maggie, she would do it n a heartbeat. Why should her heart donor’s family be any different?

“Yeah, it would.” 

The smile on Maggie’s face and the return of the dimples assured Alex she’d made the right choice. The weight that seemed to be lifting from her shoulders was also a positive sign.

Standing from her stool, Maggie left some money on the bar before holding her hand out to Alex. “Alright, let’s go.”

Alex looked at Maggie and then at the hand being offered to her. “What?”

“Let’s go mail this letter before you change your mind. I have a hunch you’re carrying it with you right now. And my hunches are almost always right. So?”

Looking at Maggie’s hand one more time, Alex tentatively reached out and took it. Maggie smiled and intertwined their fingers together before turning and leading Alex out of the bar. Nearly stumbling to keep up, Alex stared at their tangled hands, noting how well they fit together and wanting it to last as long as possible.

Maggie led Alex back to the same mailbox she had encountered earlier. The feeling of loss was immediate when Maggie let go of Alex’s hand to step toward the mailbox and open the mail drop door.

Alex hesitated. Maggie was looking back at her with a smile of encouragement on her face. Reaching into her inside jacket pocket, Alex pulled out the white envelope, keeping it upside down so the delivery address couldn’t be seen. Alex stepped closer to the mailbox, and at the feeling of Maggie’s hand on her shoulder, she reached forward and let the letter slip from her fingers and into the black void of the box. 

Maggie let the door fall back into place as Alex stared at the mailbox. Maggie squeezed her shoulder. “You okay?”

Blinking a few times, Alex looked at Maggie and smiled. “Actually, yeah, I am.”

“Good. Proud of you, Danvers.”

Alex felt a blush rise to her cheeks and looked down, biting her lip. “Thank you. For your help.”

Maggie shrugged. “Told you I was an excellent listener with great advice. Glad I didn’t disappoint.” 

Letting out a laugh, Alex looked at Maggie, trying to figure out how to keep herself in the company of this beautiful and intriguing woman. “Hey, would you-”

The sound of her cell phone cut Alex off. She reached into her pocket and saw Kara’s name on her screen accompanied by a selfie she and Alex had taken a couple of months ago during sister night. Alex with a grin on her face as Kara pressed a kiss to her cheek. 

Alex looked up to see Maggie glancing at her phone. Her eyes met Alex’s again as she put her hands in her pockets. “I should let you get that.”

The spell had been broken, and before Alex could respond, Maggie was walking backward as she continued to speak, “I’m glad I could help you get rid of that crinkle. I’ll see you around, Danvers.” 

Still gripping the now silent phone in her hand as she watched Maggie walk away, Alex was only able to stammer out, “Bye, Maggie.”

She received one last smile before the detective turned and walked back in the direction of the bar.

Alex sighed as she made her way to the spot where her bike was parked. As she tapped her phone to call Kara back, Alex’s mind was filled with thoughts of Maggie and figuring out a way to see the woman again.


	4. Chapter 4

Sitting in a booth at Al’s, Alex watched the bustle of the dinner crowd as Kara and Winn talked about the various goings-on at CatCo. It had been three days since meeting Maggie, and Alex couldn’t get the woman out of her head. She regretted not calling out to Maggie as she walked away and had seriously considered calling the various precincts of the NCPD until she found the one where Maggie worked. Deciding that might be bordering along the lines of stalking, Alex had been thinking about other ways she could go about finding the detective.

Alex returned her attention to the conversation at the table just as Winn said, “I’m glad you survived Cat’s wrath today.”

Alex looked at her sister. “Everything going okay at work?”

Kara groaned, dropping her head into her hands. She had been Cat Grant’s assistant for two years now. Alex knew she loved working at Catco, but that some days with Cat were more exhausting than others. “Cat was on the warpath, all thanks to Leslie Willis and her big mouth.”

“I expected a bit more rage screaming after Leslie’s roasting of President Marsdin,” Winn said. “I think Cat’s losing her touch.”

Alex shook her head. “I can’t believe Cat still lets Leslie on the air.”

Kara huffed out a laugh. “Well, let’s just say the only broadcasting Leslie will be doing from now on will be from the traffic helicopter, so…” 

Alex’s eyes widened. “Oh, wow.”

“Yeah,” Winn added, “She better hope summoning storms isn’t one of Cat’s evil powers.”

The trio broke into laughter. As Kara and Winn began discussing other possible evil powers Cat Grant possessed, a plate of potstickers was placed in the middle of the table. Three sets of eyes looked up to see J’onn standing by the booth.

“Alex. Kara. Winn. It’s good to see you tonight.”

“Hey, Papa Bear.” Winn grinned, clapping J’onn on the shoulder.

Alex and Kara tried to hold their laughter at J’onn’s mock exasperation at the nickname. He might play annoyed, but Alex knew he secretly enjoyed it. He loved his rag-tag group of kids. J’onn had been an integral part of Alex and Kara’s lives after Jeremiah’s death. Having been a close friend of her parents’ since college, and his presence so frequent in the household, Alex had taken to calling him Uncle J’onn as a child.

Others had been a part of the group over the years, but Winn was a recent addition after becoming Kara’s closest friend at work. J’onn gladly welcomed each and every one.

Kara snatched two potstickers from the plate, shoving them in her mouth. “Oh my gosh, thank you! I’m starving!”

Winn, mouth agape, looked between the plate of potstickers and Kara.

“Don’t worry, Winn. I already have a backup order getting ready to come out for you and Alex,” J’onn said as he patted Winn on the back.

Kara blushed as she swallowed her mouthful. “Sorry.”

J’onn rubbed a hand across his forehead. “I’m sorry for the wait. We’re a bit shorthanded tonight. I’ve been covering the kitchen and taking care of tables.”

Alex looked up at J’onn. “Why didn’t you say something? I can help.”

“I couldn’t ask that of you.”

Standing from the booth, Alex put her hands on her hips. “J’onn, it’s the least I can do. Especially considering you let me live upstairs practically rent-free.”

J’onn sighed, pointing a finger at Alex. “Fine, but only a couple tables at a time. And don’t let Winn anywhere near the kitchen. I don’t need another tray of food ending up on the floor.”

“It was one time!” Winn objected, holding up his index finger before pointing it in J’onn’s direction. “And that family was very understanding.”

J’onn chuckled, laying his hand on Alex’s shoulder. “Booth 12 was being seated when I came over if you want to get their drink order. You can also keep this table. I can tell they’re going to be a rowdy bunch.”

“You know you love us,” Winn called after J’onn as he walked back to the kitchen. 

“Alright, well, I’ll check back in with you two later.” Plucking a small notebook and pen from Kara’s purse, Alex headed toward the back of the restaurant.

“Hey!” Kara grabbed at her purse, too late to stop Alex.

“Thanks. Love you,” Alex threw back over her shoulder.

Chuckling to herself and flipping through the notebook in search of a blank page, Alex stepped up to the table and spoke before looking up. “I’ll be taking your drink order. What can I get you?”

“Alex?”

Her head snapped up at the voice, and Alex found herself looking directly at the woman she’d been thinking about for the past three days. Maggie’s head tilted to the side as she looked back, and Alex felt her heartbeat quicken.

“I didn’t know you worked here.”

“I...I don’t,” Alex stammered, cursing herself for being caught off guard by this woman again.

A look of confusion crossed Maggie’s face. “Okay.”

Alex closed her eyes, trying to get her thoughts in line before clarifying, “I mean, I don’t officially work here. I know the owner and help out sometimes.”

“Then I guess we lucked out tonight,” Maggie replied, as a smile spread across her face and a single dimple made an appearance.

Alex could feel a blush rise to her cheeks as she looked down at the notepad in her hand. “I guess you did.”

The sound of a throat clearing broke the moment, and Alex looked up to notice three other women sitting in the booth, eyes on her. 

“You two know each other?” the woman seated next to Maggie asked as she slid her arm around Maggie’s waist, no subtlety in the jealous glare she shot at Alex.

Alex noticed Maggie stiffen before answering. “I helped Danvers out with a problem recently.”

The woman looked at Maggie confused, “Danvers?”

Alex pointed at herself. “Alex...Danvers.”

Eyes narrowed, the woman looked between Alex and Maggie. “Hmm.”

Alex fidgeted with the notebook and pen in her hands until the woman sitting across from Maggie finally spoke up. “I’ll have a whiskey. Neat.”

“Same for me, please.” The woman next to her stated.

Grateful for the interruption to the awkwardness, Alex wrote down the orders. She looked back up only to make eye contact with Maggie again. “I’ll have a beer, please.”

Alex wrote down Maggie’s order before forcing herself to look at the woman seated next to Maggie. The woman’s eyes were still narrowed as she seemed to tighten her grip around Maggie.

“I want bottled water. Bottled, not tap. Understand? I’ll know the difference.”

Attempting to ignore the bite behind the woman’s words, Alex nodded as she wrote the order down. “I’ll be right back with your drinks.”

With one last glance at Maggie, Alex turned away and walked to the bar to get the women’s drinks. Taking a deep breath, Alex tried to get her heart rate to calm. She had wanted to see Maggie again, but this definitely wasn’t one of the scenarios she had imagined. Rolling her eyes at herself, Alex went behind the bar to get the drinks for Maggie’s table.

Letting Ray, the bartender, know that she needed two whiskeys neat and a beer, Alex turned to the glass door refrigerator and pulled out a bottle of water. She twisted the cap off and set it on a tray next to a glass of ice before she stopped, looking at the bottle. Alex's eyes slid to the sink next to where she was standing.

_Bad idea, Alex. If you get caught, J’onn will be furious._

After another moment of internal debate, Alex found herself standing in front of the sink and pouring the contents of the bottle down the drain. Once the bottle was empty, Alex turned on the faucet and held the bottle under the stream to refill. A smirk on her lips, Alex turned off the faucet and placed the bottle on the tray. 

Glancing up, Alex froze as her eyes landed on Maggie standing by the emergency exit near the end of the bar, phone pressed to her ear, and looking directly at her. A smile tugged at the corners of Maggie’s lips as she turned away as though she hadn’t seen what Alex had just been doing and continued talking on her phone.

Thanking Ray for the other drinks he placed on the tray, and Alex picked it up and made her way back to the table. As Alex placed the drinks in front of the women, Maggie slid back into her seat. This time, Alex avoided eye contact as Maggie’s date poured her bottle of water into the glass and took a sip.

“Mmm, so much better than tap water.”

Maggie, having just taken a drink of her beer, snorted and began coughing. Alex grabbed her tray and quickly made her escape, telling the women she’d be back shortly for their food orders. 

Alex made a beeline for the kitchen and leaned against the wall. She rubbed her hands over her face as giggles bubbled up and out of her mouth at the absurdity of the situation. Noticing confused glances from the kitchen staff, Alex attempted to stifle her giggles behind her hand. 

Of course, the second time she runs into Maggie, she’s on a date. _Or with her girlfriend?_ Alex wondered. She was so sure that Maggie had been flirting with her in the bar. Now Alex was beginning to think she had read the entire interaction wrong. She really didn’t know anything about the other woman other than that she was a detective for the NCPD. Alex couldn’t assume that Maggie had any interest in her as anything other than an acquaintance. 

Taking a deep breath, Alex pushed off the wall and walked back out of the kitchen and to the bar, wanting to avoid going back to the table for a few more minutes. Just as she grabbed a rag to wipe the bar down, Alex saw Maggie making her way toward the exit. Before she could stop herself, she called out to the other woman.

“Hey, Maggie. Are you leaving?”

Maggie glanced up and walked closer to the bar. “Yeah, I got called into work. All hands on deck situation.”

Alex frowned. “You didn’t get to eat anything.”

“I’m sure I’ve got a granola bar in my desk if I dig deep enough.”

“Wait here.” Alex started to walk to the kitchen but stopped and turned back toward Maggie. “Do you have any food allergies?”

“No.” Maggie shook her head, confused. “Why?”

“I’ll be right back. Don’t go anywhere.”

A few moments later, Alex returned and placed a to-go container on the bar in front of Maggie. “Roasted chicken with mushroom risotto.”

“Alex, you didn’t have to do that.” Maggie’s eyes softened as she looked at Alex before reaching into her pocket to pull out her wallet. 

Alex placed her hand on Maggie’s wrist and pushed the container closer. “It’s on the house. What’s the use in knowing the owner if I can’t take advantage of it every once in a while?”

“Well, in that case, thank you. I really appreciate it.” Maggie put her wallet away and picked up the container. She smiled at Alex softly as a look of regret crossed her face. “I really have to go, but it was good seeing you again.” 

“Yeah, you too. Have a good evening, Maggie.”

“Bye, Alex.”

Alex watched Maggie walk out the door before finally forcing herself to go back to the table Maggie had just left to get the rest of the women’s orders. 

The rest of the evening was fairly uneventful. Alex took care of a few other tables and stopped to talk to Winn and Kara in between. As the clock inched toward closing time, J’onn insisted that Alex had helped enough for the night and that she should head up to her apartment to relax. After attempting to insist that she could help clean up, Alex finally relented and was headed toward the back exit when she heard the door at the front open.

“Sorry, we’re closed.” Alex turned and stopped short, looking at the person standing inside the doorway. “Maggie?”

“Hey, sorry for stopping by so late,” Maggie replied.

“It’s okay. I’m glad you came back.”

Maggie reached up to run a hand through her hair. “Well, I can’t find my phone, and I’m wondering if maybe I left it here?”

“Oh,” Alex said, disappointed. Of course Maggie hadn’t come back to see her. “I don’t think anyone turned in a phone. Do you want to check the booth where you were sitting?”

“That would be great, thanks.” Maggie nodded as she followed Alex back to the table where she had sat earlier.

Maggie slid into the bench seat and reached between the cushions. After a few seconds of searching, her face brightened as she pulled her hand out and held up her phone victoriously. “Aha!”

Alex laughed. “I’m glad you were able to find it.”

“Me, too. I have some things on here I really don’t want to lose.” Maggie sat in the booth, scrolling and tapping on her phone. Suddenly she cringed. “Chloe called me five times.”

“Is that the woman from tonight? Your girlfriend?”

Maggie stopped what she was doing and looked at Alex. “She is not my girlfriend. Tonight was supposed to be our first date, and it will definitely be the last. My so-called friends set us up.”

“Were those the other two women with you?” Alex asked as she traced the grain of the wooden tabletop with her finger.

“Yes. Renee and her girlfriend, Daria. We’ll be having a conversation about the type of women they think I want to date.”

The two fell into silence as Maggie continued to tap and scroll through her phone, and Alex stared at the tabletop in front of her. This woman she’d been thinking about almost non-stop was finally sitting right across from her. And she was single. Just as Alex worked up the courage to ask Maggie on a date, Maggie set her phone down and looked at Alex. “What about your girlfriend?”

“My girlfriend?”

Maggie looked away from Alex as she added, “The, uh, woman from the picture on your phone the other day.”

Confused, Alex wracked her brain trying to figure out what Maggie was referring to. Suddenly, it dawned on her. The phone call from Kara the day she had met Maggie. Maggie had seen the picture of her and Kara. Alex let out a laugh.

This time, Maggie was the one to look confused. “What?”

“No, sorry,” Alex said as she pulled her phone from her pocket. She tapped at the screen before turning the phone in Maggie’s direction, the picture of Kara kissing Alex’s cheek on the screen. “Are you talking about this picture?”

“Yeah. I’m sorry. I wasn’t trying to snoop or anything. I just happened to see it when she called you.”

Alex reached forward and placed her hand over Maggie’s on the table, still laughing. “No, it’s fine. But that’s not my girlfriend. It’s my sister, Kara.”

A smile crossed Maggie’s face. “Your sister?”

“Yeah,” Alex said before pausing and shuddering. “And, also, ew. Very much my sister. Not my girlfriend.”

Maggie laughed. “Sorry.”

“It’s okay.” Alex smiled in return before adding. “I don’t actually have a girlfriend.”

“Well, then that makes this a lot easier.” Maggie reached forward this time and took Alex’s hand in hers. “I’d really like to take you out on a date.”

Alex’s eyebrows rose. “Oh.”

“I mean, if you want to. I understand if you’re not interested.”

Maggie started to pull her hand away before Alex quickly grasped onto it. “No! I mean, yes! I mean, I’d really like that.”

A dimpled smile spread across Maggie’s face. “Yeah?”

“Yeah,” Alex answered, unable to keep a smile from forming on her own face.

The women continued to smile at one another before making plans for the following Saturday and exchanging numbers. Standing, Alex and Maggie walked back toward the entrance of the restaurant.

Just as she was getting ready to step out the door, Maggie stopped and turned back toward Alex. “Oh, thanks again for the food. It was delicious. The guys at the precinct were very jealous.”

“I’m glad you enjoyed it.”

“I definitely did.” Maggie gave Alex one more smile before pushing the door open and stepping through it. “See you Saturday, Danvers.”

Alex gave a little wave as the door closed behind Maggie. The giddiness and the grin at the thought of going on a date with Maggie Sawyer remained as she went up to her apartment, changed into her pajamas, and crawled into bed. 


	5. Chapter 5

Closet doors flung open, Alex rifled through her clothes again, just as she had done a dozen times already. Cotton shirts, button-ups, henleys, hoodies, blazers, barely worn dresses hanging at the back, the same items she’d already looked at over and over. She had been on dates before, but something about this one felt more important.

“Are you expecting something new to magically appear?” 

Alex looked over her shoulder, shooting a glare at her sister who was sitting on the bed amongst the mountain of clothes that had been discarded there. Alex huffed as she pulled a black button-up from the closet, held it in front of herself, and then hung it back on the hanger.

“I just, I really like Maggie. I don’t want to mess this up.” Alex turned toward Kara, arms hung at her sides, a look of defeat on her face.

Kara chuckled as she stood from the bed and moved in front of Alex, placing her hands on her arms. “I really don’t think what you choose to wear is going to mess anything up.”

Guiding Alex to sit in her place on the bed, Kara stepped into the closet. “Did Maggie give you any hint as to where she’s taking you or what you should wear?”

“She just said to dress comfortably.”

After a moment, Kara turned back to Alex, a heather grey v-neck t-shirt and pair of skinny jeans in hand. She held them out to Alex.

“Go put these on.”

Alex’s eyebrows furrowed as she looked at the items Kara was holding out to her. “I don’t-”

Kara held a hand up. “No. No overthinking. Go change.”

Taking the clothes from Kara, Alex stood and moved toward the bathroom. “Alright, geez. I’m going.”

A few minutes later, Alex emerged wearing the clothes Kara had chosen. She held a hand over her chest above the neckline of the t-shirt as she stepped back toward her bedroom. “I’m not sure about this, Kara.”

Kara looked her sister up and down. “Why not? You look nice.”

Alex removed her hand from her chest, revealing a section of her transplant scar. While the incision from surgery had healed, left behind was a thin white line down the middle of Alex’s chest. Anytime she had attempted to wear low cut shirts, Alex felt like everyone’s eyes were drawn directly to the scar, and there had been a few awkward encounters where someone had actually asked her about it. 

Reading her sister's thoughts, Kara took Alex’s hands in hers. “Alex, from what you’ve told me about Maggie, I really don’t think she’s going to be put off by your scar.”

“I don’t either.” Alex shook her head. “But I’d really like to get to know her before I drop this huge part of my life on her. Make sure there’s more to this than just a crush.”

“I get it.” Kara nodded in response. “Just don’t hide who you are. If she can’t handle it, that’s on her, not you.”

Alex gave her sister a half-smile before speaking quietly. “Yeah, I know.”

Giving Alex’s hands a quick squeeze, Kara stepped back to the closet before returning with an olive green infinity scarf. She gently slipped it over Alex’s head and positioned the fabric until the scar was covered.

“There. Perfect.”

“Thanks, Kara.”

Looking over her sister’s shoulder at the mess of clothes on the bed, Alex sighed as she moved to begin putting them away. Kara put a hand on her shoulder. “I’ll clean up. You go finish getting ready.”

Alex smiled appreciatively at her sister and walked back to the bathroom. As she worked to put some curls in her hair, Alex thought about getting to spend the next few hours with Maggie. The giddiness she felt at the thought was accompanied by fluttering nerves in her stomach. She and Maggie had been texting on and off since they’d exchanged numbers at the restaurant. Their conversations didn’t dig very deep personally, but flirty banter was ever-present.

Just as Alex was finishing the final curl, she heard a knock at her door. Quickly finishing up, Alex opened the door to the bathroom just as she heard Kara’s voice.

“I’m Alex’s sister, Kara. You must be Maggie. I’ve heard so much about you. You really are as pretty as Alex says.”

“Oh. Thanks.” Maggie chuckled as she looked past Kara and locked eyes with Alex. 

Alex dropped her gaze, biting her lip as a blush spread to her cheeks. Leave it to Kara to embarrass her right out of the gate. 

Kara glanced back at Alex, smiling innocently. Of course, she knew exactly what she was doing. “Here’s Alex.”

“Thanks, Kara.” Stepping up behind her sister, Alex thrust her purse at her. “Aren’t you supposed to meet Winn downstairs?”

“Right, yeah. Wouldn’t want to keep Winn waiting." Kara pulled her purse onto her shoulder and stepped past Maggie. "You two don’t have too much fun. But if you do, at least use protection.”

Alex spluttered as Kara threw a shit-eating grin her way before turning and walking down the stairs that led to the restaurant. Maggie burst out laughing. “I like her. She’s funny.”

Trying to mentally will away the heat of embarrassment she could feel on her face, Alex grumbled, “That makes one of us.”

“You’re cute when you’re blushing.”

Alex looked at Maggie to see that damned dimpled smile aimed directly at her. Feeling the blush spread from her face to her chest, Alex was sure those dimples were going to be the death of her. She moved back into the apartment, pulling her leather jacket off of the back of a bar stool. Slipping her arms into the jacket, Alex attempted to divert Maggie’s attention.

“So, where are we going? You’ve been pretty cryptic.”

“You’ll see soon enough.” Maggie’s smile softened as she looked down at the floor. “It’s one of my favorite places in the city.”

Alex slid her wallet into her pocket and picked her keys up off of the bar countertop. “Then I can’t wait.” 

The women stepped out of the apartment, Alex locking up behind them. She turned to find Maggie offering her hand. Biting her lip to contain her grin, Alex slid her hand into Maggie's, noting its warmth and how well they really did fit together. 

Outside the building, Maggie led Alex to a motorcycle parked on the street. Alex’s eyes ran over the bike, admiring the black and chrome. She laid her free hand on the leather seat and turned toward Maggie.

“Is this yours?”

“Yeah, it is.” Suddenly, a look of uncertainty filled Maggie’s eyes. “I probably should have asked beforehand if you were comfortable riding with me. We can get an Uber instead.”

Alex squeezed Maggie’s hand. “I’m fine riding with you. Maybe we can take my bike on our next date.”

Turning so they were standing face to face, Maggie reached for Alex’s other hand. “Our next date, huh? We’ve barely started our _first_ date.”

Alex smirked, looking at their joined hands. “I have a pretty good feeling about this one.”

She looked up, her eyes meeting Maggie’s. Alex wasn’t sure if she was imagining the electricity that seemed to be crackling between them. She knew she didn’t want it to stop. Eyes flicking down to Maggie’s lips, Alex stepped further into her space.

“I really want to kiss you right now.”

“Yeah, I can tell,” Maggie whispered, her own eyes flicking between Alex’s eyes and lips. “Not that I don’t feel the same way because believe me, I do, but I think I’d rather wait until the end of our date. Give us something to look forward to.”

Taking a deep breath as she looked at Maggie’s lips one last time, Alex mustered up all the restraint she could to take a step back. “Maybe we get this date started then?” 

Maggie laughed, stepping away from Alex and handing her the extra helmet strapped to the back of her bike. “Sure, Danvers.”

Once Maggie was seated on the bike, Alex climbed on behind her, placing her feet on the pegs and bracketing Maggie’s hips with her thighs. The crackling of electricity returned as Alex wrapped her arms around Maggie’s waist. She wondered if the other woman could sense the energy between them when she felt a hand gently squeeze one of hers before the bike roared to life beneath her.

Maggie navigated the bike through the city, Alex enjoying the feeling of being so close. The feeling turned to disappointment as they pulled into a parking lot, and Alex knew the closeness was coming to an end. Climbing off the bike and strapping the helmet to the back of the bike, Alex took in her surroundings, realizing where Maggie had taken her.

“The zoo?”

“Yeah, I hope that’s okay.” Maggie turned to Alex, uncertainty once again flashing across her face.

Realizing how much she hated seeing Maggie feel this way, Alex wondered who had caused this usually confident woman to ever second guess herself. She knew if she ever found out, she would have some choice words for them.

This time, Alex was the one to extend her hand. “It is very okay. As long as you promise to let me feed the giraffes.”

Maggie grinned, taking Alex’s hand. “I think that can be arranged.”

Leading Alex to the entrance, Maggie purchased their tickets. Despite an attempt to argue, she refused to let Alex pay for her own, citing the fact that she had been the one to invite Alex on this date in the first place. Alex grumbled playfully but quickly changed her demeanor as the capuchin monkeys caught her attention, and she dragged Maggie towards them.

They stood at the edge of the habitat, laughing as one of the monkeys chased another along the vines that ran between the trees and poles. They watched another pick through a mixture of fruits and vegetables, nibbling on the pieces that seemed to be its favorite.

The sight of a mother capuchin with a baby holding onto her back caught Alex’s attention.

“Maggie, look.”

Alex felt Maggie’s hand leave her own before an arm circled her waist as Maggie leaned in closer to see where Alex was pointing. The mother and baby monkey suddenly forgotten, Alex gulped as her heart rate spiked at the sudden closeness. She glanced over out of the corner of her eye, but Maggie seemed unaware of the effect she was having on Alex as she cooed at the monkeys.

The women continued along the path, using the map they picked up at the entrance to choose the animals they most wanted to see. True to her word, Maggie led Alex to the African Journey area of the zoo and onto the fourteen-foot platform at the edge of the giraffe habitat.

Again refusing to let Alex pay, Maggie purchased lettuce leaves from the zookeeper at the back of the platform. Walking back over to Alex, Maggie handed her three of the leaves as they waited their turn behind a group of children currently offering their leaves to one of the giraffes and shrieking when its tongue grazed their hands.

Once the children were out of leaves, Alex and Maggie were able to step closer to the giraffe, whose big brown eyes immediately noticed the lettuce they were holding.

“This is Luna,” the zookeeper standing by the fence said. 

“Hi, Luna,” Alex cooed as she held out one of the leaves.

Seemingly disinterested in conversation, Luna stuck her tongue out until she could wrap it around the leaf and pull it toward her mouth. The giraffe munched happily as Alex giggled at the interaction. As Maggie offered one of her lettuce leaves, a second head popped up at the fence of the platform, nudging Luna out of the way so they could grab the leaf from Maggie’s hand.

“And this is Mystic,” the zookeeper laughed. “Luna’s very outgoing and sometimes slightly rude sister.”

“Gotta admire a girl who sees what she wants and goes for it,” Maggie smirked, glancing at Alex before offering another lettuce leaf to Mystic.

Alex felt the now familiar uptick of her heartbeat as she offered her own lettuce leaf to Luna, who happily accepted it.

They fed the giraffe sisters their final leaves before returning to the counter to purchase more, laughing at the eagerness of the animals and the feeling of wet giraffe tongues running across their hands. 

Finally pulling themselves away from the doe-eyed sisters, Alex and Maggie continued along the path hand in hand, admiring the zebras and wildebeest running across the habitat plain. As they exited the African Journey area, Maggie pulled Alex toward the food stands.

“Hungry?”

“Sure, but let me at least pay for the food.”

“Nope,” Maggie answered, turning to look at the menu board. “My date, my treat.”

“Maggie.”

“You were pretty optimistic about us having a next date. You can plan that one, and I’ll let you pay.”

Alex glared playfully at Maggie. “Fine. But I am definitely holding you to that.”

Eyeing Alex playfully, Maggie pitched her voice low as she replied, “Don’t worry, Danvers, I won’t fight you on it. Sometimes it’s exciting to give up control.”

Alex nearly choked on air as Maggie turned back to the menu board. She couldn’t keep her mind from conjuring up other situations in which Maggie might be willing to give up control.

Still lost in her rather R-rated thoughts, Maggie’s voice brought her back to the present.

“Did you decide what you want?”

Alex shifted her focus to Maggie, who looked back with a smirk as if she knew exactly where Alex’s thoughts had been.

“Uh, I’ll have,” Alex quickly scanned the menu board, “the chicken caesar wrap with fries. And a bottle of water.”

Alex offered to find a table while Maggie ordered their food. She knew she needed a moment to regroup and get her thoughts back in line. The attraction and connection she was feeling with Maggie were unlike anything she’d ever felt for another person before. It was only their first date, and already Alex felt herself falling so fast everything around her was practically a blur. Alex could only hope that Maggie was feeling it, too.

A few moments later, Maggie joined Alex at the table she’d found in a shaded part of the seating area. They ate in silence, content to just be in one another’s company.

Picking through her fries, Alex asked the question she’d been wondering about since they arrived.

“You mentioned earlier that this is one of your favorite places. What makes it so special to you?”

Immediately, Alex noticed a shadow pass over Maggie’s features. She quickly reached over and placed her hand on Maggie’s arm.

“I’m sorry. Maybe I shouldn’t have asked. You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.”

Alex worried she’d crossed a line as Maggie sighed, setting her turkey burger back in its basket and picking up a napkin. She wiped her hands off before placing one of them over Alex’s. She offered Alex a smile, though it didn’t reach her eyes.

“It’s okay. You didn’t do anything wrong.” Maggie pulled Alex’s hand off her arm and closer to herself, playing with Alex’s fingers as she spoke. “I wouldn’t have said that if I didn’t feel like it was safe to share.”

Pushing her own food aside, Alex offered her other hand for Maggie to take. “It is, if you want to. Safe to share, I mean. I promise, you can tell me anything.”

Maggie laced her hands with Alex’s, thumbs running gently over her knuckles as she seemed to gather her thoughts. Finally, Maggie spoke, her eyes on the table.

“My aunt and I used to come to the zoo all the time. It was kind of our thing. I moved in with her when I was fourteen. I was a surly teenager who barely spoke. She tried to get me to open up. No matter what she did, I just didn’t want to be there. All I wanted was to go home, but that wasn’t an option.”

“Why not?” Alex asked quietly.

Maggie looked up, her eyes studying Alex’s face. She seemed to be debating with herself. Alex kept her face as open as possible, wanting Maggie to know that she really could trust her with whatever she wanted to share. Finally, Maggie appeared to have come to a decision. She kept her eyes on Alex as she spoke.

“My parents found out I was gay, and they kicked me out.”

Before Alex could react or respond, Maggie continued. “My Aunt Gia was my mother’s sister. She was only fourteen years older than me, living here in National City, and definitely the most liberal member of the family. I always figured that’s why they sent me to live with her. She was the only one they thought would be willing to take in a queer kid.”

Maggie was quiet for a moment. Alex decided it was best to let her talk when she was ready rather than pepper her with the questions filling her mind. Or voice the anger she felt toward Maggie’s parents.

“I had been living with Gia for a few weeks, and I’d barely spoken to her other than to answer simple questions. One Saturday, she told me to get dressed and meet her in the car. I didn’t want to. I only really wanted to be left alone, but I was also trying not to be too disrespectful. I was afraid Gia would decide I wasn’t worth the trouble, and if she didn’t want me, I didn’t know where else I was going to go. So, I got in the car, and Gia drove us to this zoo. Of course, I thought it was a stupid idea, but I think you can probably imagine how quickly surly, teenage Maggie softened when she got to feed the giraffes.”

Showing the first signs of a genuine smile, Maggie went back to staring at the table as she continued speaking.

“I think walking around the zoo made it easier for Gia to talk to me, and for me to finally feel safe enough to talk to her. She made sure I knew that there was absolutely nothing wrong with me. That my parents were the ones who were wrong for what they’d done. And that she loved me unconditionally and would make sure I was taken care of for as long as I chose to live with her. To this day, I still don’t know how she did it. She was barely my age when she suddenly had a teenager to take care of.”

“She sounds pretty amazing,” Alex stated, squeezing Maggie’s hands.

Maggie nodded. “She was my favorite person.”

Noting the use of past tense, Alex couldn’t help but ask, “What happened?” 

Maggie pulled her top lip between her teeth, seeming to try to will the tears to stay in her watery eyes.

“She died almost two years ago. Killed in a car accident.”

“Maggie, I’m so sorry.”

Alex shifted her chair closer, reaching out to wipe away a tear that had slipped down Maggie’s cheek. Closing her eyes, Maggie leaned into Alex’s touch as more tears slipped past her eyelids.

“Thank you, Alex,” she whispered.

“So that’s what makes this place so special? It’s where you and your aunt were able to bond?”

Maggie grabbed a napkin and wiped her eyes. “We started coming here all the time, especially when one of us needed to talk. We finally bought a membership after I realized how much we’d been spending on admission.” Maggie looked at her surroundings before resting her eyes on Alex. “This is the first time I’ve been back here since she died.”

Brushing Maggie’s hair off of her forehead and behind her ear, Alex’s own eyes grew watery. “Thank you for bringing me here. And for trusting me with all of it.”

A silence fell over the women before Maggie took a deep breath, puffing out her cheeks as she released it. Running a hand over her face, she let out a laugh. “Wow, this date sure took a turn. If you’re finished, maybe we continue exploring?”Alex nodded as Maggie cleared their table and carried everything to a nearby trash can. There was more that Alex wanted to ask and wanted to say. She wanted to share her own experience of loss with Maggie, to let her know she understood what it was like to lose your favorite person unexpectedly. But Alex held back. Today was about Maggie and reconnecting with a place that meant so much to her. There would be time for Alex to share her own story.

Maggie’s hand on her shoulder pulled Alex out of her thoughts. She smiled at the hand being held out toward her and took hold of it with her own as Maggie pulled her out of the chair and back toward the path to the next section of the zoo.

They made their way through the Australian Adventure area of the zoo. Alex snapped pictures of the grey kangaroos lounging in the shade of the trees. Both Alex and Maggie laughed in delight as their fingers skimmed across the smooth fins of the stingrays that glided through their open aquarium. Maggie couldn’t help but give in when Alex’s eyes lit up at the sight of the Crocodile Creek log ride. And 

After securing the necessary tokens, Maggie and Alex waited for the next available log canoe. At their turn, Maggie moved to step off the platform and into the canoe, but Alex held her back, stepping in herself and scooting until her back hit the cushion behind her. Looking up at Maggie with a smile, Alex patted the space in front of her. Maggie returned the smile as she stepped down into the canoe. Once she was sitting, Alex wrapped her arms around Maggie’s waist, pulling her closer until Maggie’s back was resting against Alex.

Maggie chuckled, “Is that better?” 

Leaning her head against Maggie’s so that her lips were next to Maggie’s ear, Alex let out a contented hum. “Perfect.”

She felt a shiver run through Maggie, making Alex smile in response and close her eyes as she allowed her body to sink into the feeling of Maggie in her arms. Once again, Alex was hit with the realization that she and Maggie had known each other for such a short time, but she knew she would give just about anything to be able to hold Maggie like this for the rest of her life. She also realized the usual racing of her heart was absent. Instead, it felt as though her heart now recognized Maggie’s and was beating for her.

Opening her eyes, Alex realized the ride was already reaching its end. She’d missed all of it, but Alex didn’t care. As the log canoe returned to the platform, Alex reluctantly released Maggie so they could step back onto the platform. Moving back toward the path, instead of reaching for Alex’s hand, Maggie wrapped an arm around her waist, holding her close as they walked. 

“Can I show you my favorite animals?”

Alex placed her arm around Maggie’s shoulders as she looked at her, relieved to see that the sadness from before had been replaced with a playful gleam. “Yes, please.”

Maggie led Alex back to the center of the zoo and toward an exhibit that was currently surrounded by a crowd. Commenting that it must be feeding time, Alex and Maggie moved closer to the habitat as the other visitors stepped away after getting their chance to see the animals. Alex craned her neck trying to see what the exhibit held. Maggie laughed as she tapped Alex on the hip. Finally, an opening cleared, and the women were able to step up to the enclosure. Alex pulled her arm from around Maggie and pressed her palms against the glass as she let out what she would later realize was a somewhat embarrassing squeal.

“Otters?”

Alex heard Maggie laughing next to her as she watched the otters play. Two of them wrestled in the grass, darting and dodging and rolling around as the other two dove in and out of the water, swimming up to the glass to look at the humans on the other side. One of the otters swam toward Alex, coming to stop in front of her before darting away.

“They are so cute.” Alex cooed, eyes following the otters as they continued to glide through the water.

“Yeah, I’ve always loved coming here and just watching them swim. There’s something relaxing about it,” Maggie said as she stepped out of the way to allow other visitors to get a closer look, reluctantly pulling Alex by the elbow. “They actually just finished renovating the exhibit.”

Walking up to the nearby plaque that gave facts about North American River Otters, Alex read off the names of the otters in the habitat. “Warrick, Kramer, Meeko-” She stopped and let out a laugh at the last name on the list. “Pickles?” 

Maggie laughed along. “Yeah, they let people vote on the name when he was born.”

Turning to look at Maggie, Alex deadpanned, “You totally voted for Pickles, didn’t you?”

A look of mirth in her eyes, Maggie shrugged as she grabbed Alex’s hand. “Come on, Danvers. There’s still more to see.”

Maggie led Alex through the rest of the zoo, sharing the facts about the animals that she’d memorized over the years. She laughed and took pictures as Alex attempted to feed the goats that seemed much more interested in trying to nibble on her shirt. She pointed out the peacock that had flown to the top of one of the buildings and spread its train of feathers. She rested her arm along the back of the seat behind Alex, running the tips of her fingers lightly up and down Alex’s arm as they rode the miniature train around the perimeter of the zoo.

It was the best date Alex had ever been on.

At the end of the zoo path, Maggie and Alex found themselves outside the gift shop. They walked inside and wandered around. Alex lost track of Maggie as she looked around at the vast amount of items for purchase. As she made her way to the exit, Alex found Maggie waiting patiently, bag in hand. Alex looked at Maggie curiously, but Maggie only smiled in response, reaching for Alex’s hand and pulling her out of the gift shop and toward her bike in the parking lot.

At the bike, Alex put the extra helmet on as Maggie stashed her bag in one of the saddlebags before putting on her own helmet. Once again, Maggie climbed onto her bike first and held it up as Alex swung her leg over the set and took her place behind Maggie. She didn’t hesitate to wrap her arms around Maggie as the bike roared to life and Maggie drove out of the parking lot and onto the street.

The drive was again over too soon. Once Maggie had pulled the bike to the curb in front of Alex’s apartment building, both women climbed off. Alex strapped the extra helmet back onto the bike as Maggie pulled her own helmet off and placed it on the seat.

The women stood face to face, a sudden shyness overtaking Alex now that there weren’t other people or distractions around them. Maggie was the first to take a step closer.

“I had a lot of fun today, Alex. Thank you for letting me share an important part of myself with you.”

Alex lifted her eyes to look at Maggie. “Thank you for sharing it with me.”

They continued to stand across from one another, eyes darting to glance at lips, the electricity Alex had noticed before beginning to create a charge between them.

Alex recalled Maggie’s earlier comment about girls who knew what they wanted. She knew exactly what she wanted at that moment. Pushing away any hesitation, Alex slid her hands along either side of Maggie’s jaw and pulled her forward, capturing her lips with her own. Caught off guard, Maggie stilled for a moment before raising her hands to gently cup Alex’s elbows and returning the kiss.

Time seemed to pause as Alex felt Maggie’s lips slide against hers. She pulled back only to tilt her head the other direction before pulling Maggie back in and deepening the kiss. Alex lost all track of time, but eventually, Maggie pulled back, breathing heavily, and rested her forehead against Alex’s.

“Wow.”

Alex grinned as she ran her hands along Maggie’s neck and shoulders and down her arms until she could take Maggie’s hands and link their fingers together. “So, about that next date?”

Laughing, Maggie took a small step back. “I’m free on Thursday. And I’ll keep my promise to let you plan what we do.”

Alex squinted at Maggie. “And you’ll let me pay?”

Rolling her eyes playfully, Maggie answered, “Yes, I’ll let you pay.” She leaned in, placing a soft kiss on Alex’s lips before whispering, “And I’d like to do more of that on our next date, too.”

“I think that can be arranged,” Alex whispered back.

“One more thing.” Maggie stepped away from Alex, releasing her hands as she turned to her bike and opened her saddlebag. She pulled out the bag from the gift shop and handed it to Alex. “For you.”

Alex took the bag, confused. She looked inside, a smile spreading across her face as she removed the gift from the bag. She held the plush, brown otter to her chest. “Maggie, you didn’t have to do that.”

Maggie reached out to run her fingers over the otter’s fuzzy back. “I wanted to make sure you had something to help you remember today.

“I don’t think there is any way I wouldn’t remember today. But thank you.” Alex grabbed Maggie’s jacket and pulled her in for another kiss before releasing her and stepping back. “If I don’t walk away now, I will definitely keep doing that.”

Alex walked backward toward her building as Maggie watched her go.

“See you Thursday?”

Smiling, Maggie nodded. “See you Thursday.”

“Goodnight, Maggie.”

“Goodnight, Alex.”

Giving Maggie a small wave, Alex turned and walked into her building, her mind already working on ideas for their next date.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Big THANK YOU to Dani for making the Instagram posts for this chapter! If you haven't already checked out the artwork for this story, make sure you do and give kudos! Dani deserves them!
> 
> <https://archiveofourown.org/works/26929324>


	6. Chapter 6

Parking her bike in the lot next to Kara’s building, Alex dismounted and removed her helmet. As she strapped her helmet to her bike, she felt her phone vibrate in her pocket. Alex smiled as she pulled the phone out and checked her messages.

Maggie and she had been texting regularly since their date on Saturday. The flirting had definitely increased, but there had been serious conversations as well. Maggie had told Alex stories about her aunt, seemingly more comfortable to share when Alex wasn’t right in front of her. Maggie had even sent snapshots of a few of her favorite pictures of her and Gia together.

Alex felt a fluttering in her chest as she thought about her upcoming date with Maggie. After spending the day at the zoo and learning about its significance for Maggie, Alex had come up with the perfect date idea for Thursday. She just hoped Maggie would enjoy what she had planned.

Slipping her phone back into her pocket after sending her reply to Maggie, Alex looked up at the apartment building and took a deep breath. Once a month, Eliza would drive down from Midvale to spend time with her girls. While she never outright said it, Alex knew part of her mother’s reason for visiting was to check in on Alex and see how she was doing.

Alex loved her mom. Eliza had been there for Alex through everything and had supported every decision she had made regarding her health and her education. Their relationship had been without any major drama beyond the typical rebellious teenager stage. Due to Alex’s health, even that hadn’t gone much beyond dying her hair black and locking herself in her room to listen to angsty punk music.

Lately, whenever they spoke, Eliza would drop what she thought were subtle hints about Alex continuing her schooling. Alex wasn’t against the idea. Since her transplant and recovery, Alex had begun to think about what she wanted to do next but wasn’t sure if continuing her education was the direction she wanted to go.

Alex’s high school career had been far from traditional due to her health. Being able to attend classes for stretches of time when she felt well enough was combined with the necessity of completing online courses when her health declined. Alex had missed out on a lot of the “typical” high school experiences, but she had made it to the end.

Deciding to stay close to home and her cardiologist, Alex had chosen to attend Midvale University. Through what may have been sheer luck combined with a treatment regimen that had kept her well enough to be able to attend classes, Alex made it through her undergraduate.

It took her five years to get to graduation due to her doctor recommending a reduced course load, but being able to walk across the stage in her cap and gown had filled Alex with an overwhelming sense of pride. Despite everything, she had prevailed.

Shortly after graduation, Alex’s health began to deteriorate, and her acceptance to Stanford Medical School had been put on hold, as well as her future. Now Alex found herself once again thinking about that future, what it might hold for her, and what she wanted to do with it.

Forcing herself forward, Alex stepped into the lobby of Kara’s apartment building and hit the button for the elevator. Once the doors opened to the fourth floor, Alex walked the short distance to Kara’s door and let herself in. As soon as she walked into the apartment, both her mother and her sister looked in her direction. Kara was finishing setting the table while Eliza pulled from the oven what Alex could smell was her mom’s blueberry French toast casserole.

“Alex!” Abandoning her place settings, Kara rushed forward to envelop Alex in a hug.

“Hey, Kara.” Alex couldn’t help but smile at her sister’s cheeriness.

After setting the casserole in the middle of the table, Eliza moved toward her girls. Kara stepped back to allow Eliza to take her place.

“Hello, sweetheart.”

“Hi, Mom.”

Eliza leaned back and cupped Alex’s cheek. “How are you feeling?”

Smiling at the question her mother asked every time they spoke or saw one another, Alex replied, “I feel good. Great, actually.”

“Good,” Eliza responded with a smile of her own before gesturing to the table. “Come have a seat. The food is ready. I just need to get the blueberry syrup from the stove.”

Alex took her place at the table across from Kara, leaving the seat at the end of the table for Eliza. After Alex had moved to National City, Eliza had announced that she would be making monthly trips to see her and Kara. Alex didn’t really mind, plus the trips came with the added benefit of Eliza cooking for them. She’d definitely grown accustomed to her mom’s cooking over the years of living at home.

Setting the dish of blueberry syrup on the table, Eliza took her seat. She picked up the casserole and offered it to Alex first. Seeing the pout on Kara’s face, Alex laughed and stuck her tongue out. Eliza rolled her eyes but smiled at the antics of her girls. She picked up a nearby plate of fresh fruit, handing it to Kara. The pout disappeared, but she threw a forlorn look in the direction of the casserole.

“You’re so dramatic.” Alex handed the dish across the table to Kara, still laughing. Trading it with the plate of fruit, Kara immediately perked as she spooned a heap of food onto her plate.

The women finished serving themselves and then dug into their meal. They ate quietly for a few minutes before Eliza spoke.

“Kara, how are things at Catco?”

“They’re good. Busy,” Kara answered, wiping her mouth with her napkin. “But I did pitch an article idea to Cat that she seemed excited about.”

Alex’s eyebrows rose. “Cat’s face showed an emotion other than annoyed?”

“Okay, maybe excited is a stretch. But she did use my actual name at the end of our conversation. That’s progress.”

“As long as you’re happy, dear.” Eliza mused, spooning cantaloupe onto her plate.

“I am!” Kara sat up straight, placing her fork down onto her plate. “Even as tough as Cat can be on me, she has been a great mentor. She knows how much I want to be a reporter, and I really think she’s going to give me a chance soon.”

As Kara picked up her fork and went back to eating, Alex looked at her sister. She knew how much she loved her job, and how much she respected Cat Grant. She just hoped that Kara’s judgment wasn’t misplaced. She hoped Cat really would give Kara the chance to prove herself as a reporter, having already proven herself so many times over as her assistant.

Silence once again fell over the table as the women continued to eat. Just as Alex was taking a bite of her food, Eliza spoke up again.

“So, Alex, what have you been up to?”

“Yeah, Alex, what have you been up to?” Kara teased, a gleam in her eye, knowing that Alex hadn’t yet told Eliza about her date with Maggie.

Alex shot her sister a look, before answering. “I’ve helped J’onn at the restaurant a few times. Had my doctor’s appointment, which I told you about.”

“Anything else?”

She knew what her mother was trying to get at, but Alex wasn’t taking the bait. Instead, she shrugged. “Kara and I had sister night on Friday.”

Humming in response, Eliza took a bite of fruit before speaking again. “Have you given any thought to what you might want to do in the near future?”

Here we go, Alex thought to herself, suppressing an eye roll. Before she could respond, Kara spoke.

“I suggested she think about traveling.”

Eliza nodded. “That’s an idea. Maybe you could also think about school?”

Or maybe I could make my own choices. Alex took a deep breath to keep her irritation at bay before she opened her mouth to speak. She was once again cut off by Kara.

“Oh, yeah! Now that you’re better, you could go back to school. Oh my gosh, there are so many choices of what you could study. We could make a list!”

“Or,” Eliza chuckled, “you could continue with your medical degree. I’m sure Stanford would reconsider you now that you’ve recovered.”

Alex slumped back in her chair and crossed her arms over her chest. Closing her eyes, anger began to build as she listened to Eliza and Kara talk as though she wasn’t sitting right there with them.

“I bet National City University has a medical program, too, if you don’t want to have to move far away. I could even help you study.” Kara thought for a moment before adding, “I don’t really know a lot about medical terms or procedures. But I can make flashcards!”

“That’s very sweet of you, Kara.” Eliza smiled. “Medical school can be pretty difficult. I’m sure there will be study groups that Alex can join.”

“Stop! Please!” Alex slammed her hands on the table, unable to take any more and causing her mother and sister to jump. “I know you’re both trying to help, but it would be nice if I could be the one to decide what I want to do. If you’ll excuse me, I could use some fresh air.”

Standing from the table, Alex threw her napkin down before walking to the window. She pushed it open roughly before stepping out onto the fire escape. Leaning her elbows on the rail, Alex dropped her head in her hands, trying to reel in her anger. She knew her mother and sister meant well, but after so much of her life being out of her hands, Alex was determined to take control of what she could.

Alex heard someone step onto the fire escape before Eliza’s voice filled the silence. “Alex, I’m sorry.”

Her back still to her mother, Alex replied, “It’s fine, Mom.”

“No, it’s not,” Eliza answered back, stepping up to the railing next to Alex. “You’re right. What you choose to do with your future should be your decision. Not mine. Not Kara’s.” She took a deep breath before continuing. “After the accident and your diagnosis, I spent a lot of time praying you would get to have a future and a lot of time fearing that you wouldn’t. And now that you do, I want you to be able to make the most of it.”

“And as you just said, it’s my future.”

“I know,” Eliza turned to Alex, reaching out to brush a strand of hair behind her ear. “Whatever you choose to do with it, I will support you. In the end, all I really want is for you to be happy.”

“Even if I decide I want to go into motorcycle maintenance?”

Eliza laughed and nodded. “I would be there to hand you a rag and tools if you needed me.”

Alex finally looked at her mother and saw the sincerity in her eyes. “Thanks, Mom.”

“Of course.” Eliza smiled. “You know I love you very much.”

“I do. And I love you, too.” Alex paused before adding, “And I am happy. Especially recently"

Eliza turned back toward the railing, looking out over the city. “Does it have anything to do with what you’ve been avoiding telling me?”

“What are you talking about?” Alex asked, her voice going up in pitch.

“Keeping a secret disagrees with you.”

Shaking her head, Alex closed her eyes. “It’s not like that.”

“Okay,” Eliza responded, placing a hand on Alex’s shoulder.

Alex turned to face Eliza, brows furrowed with worry. “I met someone.”

“Alex, that’s wonderful. Why would you be afraid to tell me that?”

“I just,” Alex took a breath, gathering her thoughts. “Dating women is something I feel like I’m still figuring out. God, dating is something I’m still figuring out. But, I met someone I really like.”

“What’s her name?” Eliza asked softly.

Unable to hold back her grin, Alex answered, “Maggie.”

Eliza placed both of her hands on Alex’s arms. “If just telling me her name causes you to smile like this, I hope I get the chance to meet her.”

A blush crept over Alex’s cheeks, but her smile remained. “We’ve only been out on one date, but I just, I like her so much. She’s smart, and she’s tough, and she’s just so beautiful. I never thought I could feel like this about someone. It’s a little scary.”

Eliza laughed. “It sounds like you’ve figured out more about dating than you think. You’re starting to venture into love territory.”

Alex’s eyes widened at her mother’s words, but she also felt her heart suddenly beat faster. “I think it is way too early to start using that word.”

“You’d be surprised. I realized I was in love with your father after just a few dates.” Eliza smirked, mischief in her eyes. “There may have been some other things that occurred after just a few dates as well.”

“Nope. No, thank you.” Alex turned to climb back through the window. “I’ve heard enough.”

“Alex, wait.” Eliza was still chuckling as she reached for Alex’s arm, pulling her back to the railing.

Looking at her mother warily, Alex readied herself to dive through the window at any other mention of her parents’ love life. Instead, the humor in Eliza’s eyes was replaced with sincerity.

“It might be love, or it might not.” Eliza placed her hand over Alex’s chest. “Don’t be afraid to listen to your heart. You finally have one working for you, not against you.”

Leaning forward, Alex wrapped her mother tightly in a hug. She knew it seemed crazy to imagine that what she was feeling in her heart could be love, but Alex promised herself to listen carefully to what it was telling her about Maggie.


	7. Chapter 7

Thursday found Alex leaning against her bike outside Maggie’s precinct, the two agreeing to meet up for their date after Maggie’s shift. Practically vibrating with nervous energy, Alex glanced around at the other shops and businesses along the street. The sign for Noonan’s could be seen on the next block. She and Kara frequented the cafe regularly, especially with Kara’s obsession with their sticky buns. After finding out where Maggie worked, Alex wondered how many times they had unknowingly crossed paths.

Just as Alex was about to stand and attempt to pace away some of her nerves, the door to the precinct opened, and Maggie appeared at the top of the steps. She watched as Maggie stopped and looked around. As soon as her eyes landed on Alex, she grinned, dimples popping out on each cheek. Alex felt her stomach clench at the sight and tried desperately to get her body under control.

After the conversation with her mother at brunch, Alex had been dissecting her date and conversations with Maggie and the feelings she was developing. She still refused to use the l-word but knew she was in uncharted territory. Alex had never felt this strongly for anyone after a month of dating let alone after one date.

Alex took a deep breath as Maggie approached, grin and dimples still visible and couldn’t help but smile in response.

“Hey.” Maggie stopped a few steps from Alex.

“Hi,” Alex quietly responded.

They stood looking at one another before Maggie closed the distance between them. She leaned forward, tilting her head up but stopping short of Alex’s lips, letting her decide what happened next. Without hesitation, Alex closed the distance, pressing her lips to Maggie’s as her hands rested on Maggie’s waist.

After a moment, Maggie pulled away, laughing and cupping Alex’s cheeks as she tried to chase Maggie’s retreating lips.

“As much as I would like to keep doing that, I’m also very curious about this date that you refuse to give me any hints about.”

Humming in response, Alex glanced at her watch. “We do need to leave if we don’t want to be late.”

“So we’re on a timetable.” Maggie quirked an eyebrow as her hands slid down Alex’s arms. “Are we going to a movie? Baseball game? Roller derby?

Alex laughed, tangling her fingers with Maggie’s. “No, no, and sadly no. But I do think you’ll enjoy it.”  
After her date to the zoo with Maggie, Alex had easily decided where she wanted to go on their second date. Since Maggie had opened up about a place that was special to her, Alex wanted to do the same. She just hoped she could make their second date as memorable as the first.

“We better get going then.” Maggie glanced past Alex. “Are we taking this very nice motorcycle parked behind you?”

“Actually, I was hoping you wouldn’t mind walking. It’s only a few blocks away and through the park.”

Maggie smirked at Alex. “And here I thought you’d want to take advantage of having me wrapped around you on your bike.”

Alex couldn’t stop the blush that took over her face. She bit her lip as the image of what Maggie had suggested filled her head. Coming back to reality and seeing Maggie still smirking at her, Alex glanced away as she cleared her throat. “As tempting as that sounds, I thought it would be nice to walk together.”

Smirk transforming into a smile, Maggie squeezed Alex’s hands. “That does sound nice. Lead the way, Danvers.”

Alex led Maggie four blocks to the entrance of the park. They followed one of the paths, walking under the giant sycamore and oak trees. As the path took them deeper into the park, Alex veered them onto a small offshoot that stopped in front of a building nestled in the back corner of the park.

Taking in the large limestone building in front of them, Maggie turned to Alex, a look of confusion on her face. “The planetarium?”

“Yeah.” Alex took a deep breath, glancing at the ground before raising her eyes to meet Maggie’s. “I just thought that, since you took me somewhere that was special to you, I would take you somewhere that was special to me.”

Maggie’s gaze softened, but before she could speak, Alex continued.

“My dad was an astronomer. He worked for the university in our hometown but also traveled for lectures. He spoke at this planetarium more times than I can remember. Whenever he had to come to National City for a weekend, he would bring my mom and me with him. I’ve lost count of how many times I sat in the theater here and watched him speak. I didn’t always understand what he was talking about, but I could tell how much he loved what he was doing. He bought me my first telescope and taught me everything he knew about the planets and the stars.”

Squeezing Alex’s hand, Maggie replied softly, “He sounds pretty great.”

“Yeah, he was. He, uh, he died when I was fourteen. A semi-driver fell asleep at the wheel and ran him off the road. The company turned out to be overworking their drivers and forging their logbooks.”

Maggie reached for Alex’s other hand, pulling her forward so they were standing closer to one another. “Alex, I’m so sorry.”

“Thank you,” Alex whispered, before laughing wetly and closing her eyes to try to keep the tears from falling. “I wasn’t planning on the emotions. I wanted to tell you that I understand how it feels to lose your favorite person and to share one of my favorite places with you.”

“I’m really glad you did.” Maggie placed her hand on Alex’s neck just below her ear, using her thumb to gently wipe away a tear that had escaped. Leaning forward, she placed a soft kiss on Alex’s lips. “Why don’t we go inside so you can teach me all about the stars.”

“Okay,” Alex replied quietly, “Though I think that’s the presenter’s job.”

Maggie kissed Alex one more time before pulling her toward the entrance. “I’d rather hear you tell me.”

Once inside, they got in line for tickets to the live show. Alex had her wallet in hand as they stepped up to the window, placing herself directly in front of Maggie to block her from the ticket counter.

She heard Maggie laugh behind her as a hand squeezed her hip and a body pressed close to her back. “I said I’d let you pay for this date, Danvers. I’m a woman of my word.”

Able to feel every point of contact, Alex’s breath hitched as electricity shot through her body. Maggie’s hand slipped away, and Alex missed it immediately. A throat clearing grabbed Alex’s attention, and she realized the woman at the counter was waiting on her to pay. She handed over cash, quickly taking the tickets and stepping out of the way for the next person in line.

Alex found Maggie standing next to the entrance of the theater, typing on her phone as though she hadn’t just short-circuited Alex’s brain with a single touch. She handed Maggie her ticket and received a sweet smile in return.

“Thanks, Danvers.”

Watching as Maggie handed her ticket to the usher at the door, Alex wondered if the other woman was aware of the effect she had on her. Alex found herself craving more touches from Maggie and got lost in the images filling her mind that were far from PG.

“You coming?”

Hoping Maggie didn’t secretly possess mind-reading abilities, Alex cleared her throat and stepped forward to hand her ticket to the usher as well.

She tried to offer an innocent smile through the blush filling her cheeks as Maggie looked at her curiously. Alex led them into the theater and to a couple of seats off the aisle in one of the back rows.

“And here I had you pegged as a front-row kind of girl,” Maggie smirked as they sat.

Alex laughed as she shrugged out of her leather jacket. “You’re not wrong, but these seats actually offer a much better view.”

“Nerd.”

Bumping her shoulder against Maggie’s, Alex responded, “Damn right.”

They settled into their seats, reclining enough that they could get a good visual of the dome screen above. As the seats around them continued to fill, Maggie reached over the armrest taking Alex’s hand and tangling their fingers together.

“I can’t believe I’ve been past this building hundreds of times, but I’ve never actually been inside.”

Alex turned her head toward Maggie from where it was resting against the seatback. “Well, prepare to be amazed.” She gave Maggie’s hand a squeeze as the lights in the theater dimmed, and the screen above lit up with thousands of stars.

As the presenter began speaking about people throughout civilization creating stories to explain the changes of the night sky, Alex felt a calm fall over her. The feeling was familiar and immediately filled her with memories of her father. Sitting in these same seats as he presented his own findings, sharing details of stars that were lightyears away.

Every constellation Alex could identify was because of her father. Her bedroom walls had been filled with her own star map drawings as a child, showing the stars at different points through the seasons. After her father’s death, the maps and telescope had been hidden away, reminders of a tragedy she didn’t want to think about. But Alex found it impossible to avoid the stars themselves, and she couldn’t deny her love for the knowledge instilled in her by her father.

Alex felt Maggie shift in her seat before hearing her whisper, “You okay?”

Confused by the question, Alex looked at the worry on Maggie’s face as she realized her cheeks were damp. She reached up to wipe away the tears that had fallen and gave Maggie a reassuring smile. “Yeah, I’m okay.”

Maggie shifted closer, leaning against Alex’s side and resting her head on Alex’s shoulder. As the night sky on the screen above shifted and the presenter began talking about the big bang and the subsequent evolution of the universe, Alex was glad she had decided to share this place with Maggie.

The show came to an end, and as the presenter thanked everyone for attending, the lights in the theater turned back on. The seats around Alex and Maggie began to empty, but they remained where they were, cuddled close, Maggie's head still resting on Alex’s shoulder.

“This was really nice, Alex. I’m glad you brought me here.”

“Me, too. It was nice being in this theater again.”

Maggie lifted her head, turning to look at Alex. “Yeah?”

Smiling softly, Alex nodded, “Yeah. I could picture my dad standing up there talking about a new discovery he had made.” Alex paused before adding, “I haven’t felt this close to him in a really long time.”

Alex felt Maggie squeeze her hand, rubbing up and down her arm with the other. “We’ll just have to make sure to come here often.”

A part of Alex’s brain registered that Maggie was suggesting there would be a future where they were regularly in one another’s company, and she felt a thrill run through her. After a few more moments, Alex stood, holding her hand out to Maggie.

They stepped outside to find the sun sinking behind the horizon. Alex began walking toward the back entrance of the park, but Maggie hesitated.

“Your bike’s back the other direction, Danvers.”

Alex smirked, tugging on Maggie’s hand. “Date’s not over yet, Sawyer.”

“Okay, then,” Maggie laughed, letting Alex lead her out of the park and toward their next destination.

Once out of the park, they walked another block and a half before Alex stopped, looking at Maggie.

“I thought you didn’t drink,” Maggie stated, looking at the bar they were now standing in front of and then looking at Alex.

Alex bit her lip, eyes cast down at the sidewalk. “I don’t, but this is where we met.” Alex shrugged, finally looking at Maggie. “It’s one of my favorite places now.”

A grin spread across Maggie’s face, dimples popping out on her cheeks. “What a coincidence, mine, too.”

Alex couldn’t stop the matching grin that appeared on her face as Maggie tugged her inside.

They chose a booth at the back of the bar, sliding in on opposite sides. Within minutes, a waitress walked over. She spared a glance at Alex before turning toward Maggie, leaning her hip against the table.

“Maggie, I’ve missed you. Haven’t seen you here in a while.”

“Hey, Darla,” Maggie replied, running a hand through her hair and looking from Darla to Alex. “Yeah, I’ve been busy lately.”

Alex felt a twisting in her gut as she watched Darla pout her lips and reach over to place a hand on Maggie’s arm. “It’s not the same when you aren’t around.”

Pulling her arm from Darla’s grasp and folding her hands in her lap, Maggie looked at Alex. “Do you know what you want?”

Eyes darting between the woman hitting on her date and said date sitting across from her, Alex cleared her throat. “Just a water for me, please.”

Darla again glanced at Alex before turning back toward Maggie, voice dripping with sultriness. “And what can I get for you, Maggie?”

“I’ll take a water, too,” Maggie answered, giving Darla a small smile.

“Be right back with those”

Alex watched Darla run her hand along Maggie’s shoulder as she walked away. This was new territory for her. Never had she found herself in a situation that required her to compete for someone else’s affection. Alex realized she probably should have expected this. Maggie was beautiful, charming, kind, the list could go on. And Alex was...Alex. Not to mention the baggage she was carrying around and had yet to share with the woman across from her. She wouldn’t blame Maggie if she decided Alex wasn’t worth the trouble and chose someone like Darla instead.

“Alex?”

Looking at Maggie, Alex realized she had been talking to her, worry etched on her face.

“Sorry, what were you saying?”

“I asked if you were okay.”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine.” Alex gripped her hands together tightly, as she looked at Darla behind the bar, laughing at something the bartender had said. She couldn’t stop the words that came out of her mouth next. “She’s pretty.”

“Who?” Maggie whipped her head around, following Alex’s line of sight. “Darla?”

Alex nodded, avoiding eye contact. “Yeah. She seems pretty into you. It’s okay if you’re into her, too.”

“Alex.” There was a determination in Magie’s voice that forced Alex to finally look at her. She found Maggie’s hand reaching across the table, palm up. “I’m here with you. I want to be here with you. No one else.”

Placing her hand in Maggie’s and relishing the feeling of Maggie’s hand wrapping around her own, Alex let out a breath she didn’t realize she had been holding. “Yeah?”

“Yes,” Maggie stated, leaving no room for Alex to question if she meant it. “I want to be honest with you. Darla and I did go out a few times, but in the end, it didn’t work.”

Uncertainty crept back into Alex once more. “Are you sure?”

“Very sure.” Maggie placed her other hand on the table, holding it open for Alex to take if she wanted. “It’s more about the chase with her. Plus, she had some harsh words for me after I had to cancel a date more than once.”

This time, Alex didn’t hesitate to lay her hand in Maggie’s, a feeling of protectiveness surging forward. “What did she say?”

“It doesn’t matter.”

Seeing a flash of vulnerability in Maggie’s eyes, Alex squeezed her hands. “Of course it matters,” Alex said softly.

Magie sighed, rolling her eyes at herself. “She said I was hard-headed, insensitive, and obsessed with work.”

Alex’s protectiveness transformed into anger. “She said that? That’s…Maggie, you’re none of those things.”

Letting out a self-deprecating laugh, Maggie shook her head in response. “You say that, but I haven’t had to cancel on you last minute because of my job.”

“So what if you did?” Alex scoffed. “Your job is important, Maggie. What you do is important.”

Alex watched as Maggie shrugged in response, still not quite convinced. She pulled Maggie’s hands closer to her. “Hey.” Once Maggie looked up at her, she continued, “You are passionate and caring and I…” Alex paused, that word once again at the forefront of her mind, but she still thought it was too soon. “I really like that about you.”

This time, the smile on Maggie’s face was one that reached her eyes. “Thanks, Alex.”

“Just speaking the truth.” Alex smiled back before glancing toward the bar and seeing Darla making her way back to their table. Making a split-second decision, she stood, holding her hand out to Maggie. “Come on.”

Taking Alex’s hand, Maggie slid out of the booth and followed her toward the door. Before they could reach it, Darla stepped in their path.

“Are you leaving already?” She asked, eyes on Maggie. “I was hoping we could talk.”

Alex put herself between Darla and Maggie, “We decided that our date would be better spent elsewhere.” Stepping closer toward Darla, Alex lowered her voice. “And if you think Maggie’s hard-headed and insensitive, you have no idea what’s coming if you flirt with her again in front of me.”

Pushing passed Darla, whose mouth was hanging open in surprise, Alex led Maggie out the door and into the crisp night air. She felt like her heart might leap out of her chest, but she couldn’t keep from giggling with Maggie as they rounded the corner into an alley that would provide a shortcut back toward the precinct and her bike.

A few feet into the alley, Alex suddenly felt herself being turned and pushed against the side of the building. Maggie pressed against her, eyes darting from Alex’s eyes to her lips. Alex gulped, the roughness of the brick against her back a stark contrast to the feeling of Maggie’s fingers teasing at the hem of her shirt.

Lips inches from Alex’s, Maggie whispered, “This protective streak you’ve got is really hot.”

Eyes widening, Alex’s response was cut off by Maggie’s lips crashing into her own. Finally registering what was happening, she wrapped her arms around Maggie’s shoulders as Maggie’s fingertips drifted under her shirt and skimmed across her skin above the waistband of her jeans. Alex let out a soft moan as Maggie trailed her lips along Alex’s jaw and down her neck. Moving one of her hands into Maggie’s hair, a fire lit low in Alex’s belly as Maggie’s thigh pressed up between her own.

Alex lost herself to the sensations until Maggie’s fingers traced across her collarbone, and alarms started going off in her head. At the feeling of Maggie’s lips in the hollow of her throat just above her scar, and Maggie’s hand pulling the collar of her shirt out of the way to allow her to kiss lower, Alex’s body stiffened.

“Stop,” her voice croaked. Alex cleared her throat, suddenly frantic as she pushed against Maggie and repeated louder, “Maggie, stop!”

Immediately, Maggie backed away, hands in the air, and forehead creased with worry.

Alex stayed pressed against the building, breathing heavily, her brain and body catching up with one another. Embarrassment filled her as she realized she didn’t know how to explain her outburst. This didn’t feel like the best time to go over her medical history, and if she did, would Maggie be upset that she hadn’t told her sooner? Would she wonder why it seemed like Alex was hiding this big part of her life? Alex knew she couldn’t handle Maggie being upset with her.

“Alex? What’s wrong?” Maggie stayed where she was but slowly lowered her arms to her sides. “Please talk to me.”

Making another split-second decision, but this time one she knew she would later regret, Alex pushed off the brick wall. “I have to go.”

Before Maggie could stop her, Alex took off down the alley. She heard Maggie’s voice fade behind her, calling out her name.

Alex didn’t slow down, making her way directly toward where she had parked her bike earlier that evening. Tears fell onto her cheeks as Alex realized she had likely ruined what may have been one of the best things to ever happen to her.


	8. Chapter 8

The following night, Alex sat on her couch staring into the flames dancing in the fireplace. Kara had insisted on a Sister’s Night specifically for that evening so Alex could gush about her date with Maggie. Now, Alex just wanted to crawl into bed and suffer alone in her misery.

Alex’s phone buzzed next to her. She glanced at the screen to see Maggie’s name on the caller ID. She’d been avoiding calls and texts from the other woman since last night. Alex wanted nothing more than to hear Maggie’s voice and to explain, but embarrassment and fear held her back.

She had replayed the previous night over and over in her head. Taking Maggie to the planetarium had gone even better than Alex had expected, and she was glad she had been able to open up and share about her father and his death. Even if she hadn’t been entirely truthful with Maggie about the accident.

The only real blip in their evening had been Darla and her attempts to flirt with Maggie right in front of Alex. The anger she’d felt and the urge to stand up for Maggie after finding out what Darla had said had surprised her. Alex had only ever been that protective of Kara. Considering her mother’s words once again, Alex finally started to accept that she was falling for the dimpled detective.

And then she had ruined it. Kissing Maggie, feeling Maggie’s fingers and lips trace over her skin, Alex’s body still tingled at the memory. But Alex hadn’t prepared herself for what came next. She had thought she would have more time to figure out how she wanted to tell Maggie about her scar and the reason for its existence.

Of all the scenarios in her head, Alex had never considered her scar being revealed due to her and Maggie making out like teenagers against the brick wall of a bar. She could have spent hours backed against that wall, Maggie’s body pressed against her own. But her fear had ruined it.

Alex jumped at the sound of Kara bursting through her door.

“Oh my gosh, Alex, you wouldn’t believe what happened today.” Kara dropped her purse next to the door, kicking off her shoes and continuing her story. “Someone leaked Cat’s emails, and James, Winn, and I spent the entire day-”

Kara stopped as soon as she turned toward her sister, taking in Alex’s form curled on the couch under a quilt and the look of sadness on her face. She moved to sit next to Alex on the couch.

“Alex, what’s wrong?”

Alex’s composure broke. Everything she’d been feeling and trying to push down since she ran away from Maggie rushed to the surface. Tears flooded her eyes as she let out a sob. “I ruined everything.”

Wrapping her arms around Alex, Kara tried to soothe her sister as she cried.

Once Alex sobs had reduced to sniffles, Kara leaned back, brushing Alex’s hair out of her face. “What happened?”

A fresh set of tears welled up in Alex’s eyes. Before she could answer, her phone buzzed and lit up with Maggie’s name on the caller ID again. Alex could feel Kara’s eyes watching her as she stared at the phone.

“Aren’t you going to answer?” Kara asked softly.

Alex shook her head, picking up her phone and placing it upside down on the coffee table. Sitting back, she clasped her hands together tightly in her lap.

Kara reached forward, working her hands in between Alex’s. “Alex, what happened?”

Taking a deep breath, Alex told her about the previous night’s events. Kara listened intently, squeezing Alex’s hands in support as she spoke with regret how the evening ended.

“She’s been calling and texting, but I can’t bring myself to answer.”

Kara rubbed her thumbs over her sister’s hands. “You know, I really think she would understand if you gave her the chance.”

Biting her lip, Alex nodded. “I think she would, too.” She pulled a hand away and ran it through her hair. “I’m so embarrassed, Kara.”

A silence fell between them before Kara spoke up again. “Can I ask you something?”

Alex met Kara’s eyes. “Of course.”

“What made you so afraid of letting people see and know what you went through? You weren’t always this secretive about it.”

Taking a breath, Alex considered what she wanted to tell her sister. She’d never shared what had happened. Why she felt the urge to hide her scar and keep her past a secret for as long as she could. This time, Alex decided to go with the truth.

“Do you remember Bianca?”

Kara scrunched her eyebrows together, a look of confusion on her face. “Was she the hygienist you went out with for a couple of weeks?”

“Yeah,” Alex answered quietly. “I never told you why I stopped seeing her.”

Thinking back on her time spent with Bianca, Alex had been drawn to the other woman’s spontaneity. Their first date had been a thrilling combination of random choices made by what sparked their interest as they walked around the city. That night, Alex had discovered both her love of Ethiopian food and her lack of artistic ability for molding pottery on a wheel. Regardless, they had fun together, and it was the first time Alex had been able to imagine the possibility of a future with another person. A few dates later, Alex found out that Bianca’s draw to the unknown had its limits.

Playing with a snag in the quilt over her legs, Alex elaborated, “After our third date, we ended up at her place. One thing led to another, and next thing I knew I was shirtless on her couch. As soon as Bianca saw my chest, she freaked out. Started demanding to know what the scar was from, and why I hadn’t told her about it. She handed my shirt back to me, saying she couldn’t handle looking at me. I didn’t stick around after that, and I never saw or heard from her again.”

Alex looked up to see anger flash across Kara’s face. The look quickly passed and Kara’s features softened once more. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

Offering a half shrug, Alex dropped her gaze again. “Wasn’t really something I wanted to relive. But now I always worry about how someone else will react. I’ve been on dates since, but I haven’t let it get far enough that I had to worry about explaining the scar or my past.”

Kara dipped her head to catch Alex’s eye. “Until Maggie?”

“Until Maggie,” Alex confirmed as a small smile formed on her face. “She practically smashed right through all my defenses, but I let those fears keep me from being completely honest. And I totally freaked out on her and ran away.”

“From everything you’ve told me about Maggie, I don’t think she’s going to hold your fears against you. Especially if you explain why you have them.”

“You really think so?” Alex asked, a hint of doubt in her voice.

“I really do,” Kara nodded, smiling softly. “And if she doesn’t, I’d be more than happy to throw her into the sun for you. Hypothetically.”

Cracking her first genuine smile, Alex grasped Kara‘s shoulders, pulling her forward and wrapping her arms around her sister. “Thank you.”

Kara hugged Alex tightly. “Anytime. That’s what sisters are for.”

The sound of Alex’s phone buzzing from the coffee table broke the moment. Both Alex and Kara turned toward the device.

“You’re going to have to talk to her eventually if you plan to explain what happened.”

“I know,” Alex sighed, still staring at the phone. “I just don’t know where to start.”

“Just start with the truth.” Kara nudged Alex.

Alex playfully rolled her eyes at her sister. “Yeah, yeah.”

“Good. Now that we have that settled, what do you want for dinner?” Kara threw herself back against the couch. “I’m starving.”

Laughing at Kara’s theatrics, Alex suggested, “Pizza and potstickers?”

Kara shot back upright. “I swear you can practically read my mind sometimes.”

Standing from the couch as she pulled her own phone from her pocket, Kara picked Alex’s phone up from the coffee table and handed it to her. “I’ll go get dinner. You get the girl.”

Alex laughed, taking the phone from her sister. Butterflies filled her stomach at the thought of talking to Maggie and attempting to explain her freak out the night before. She couldn’t deny the hopefulness that was thrumming right on the edges of her nervousness as visions of Maggie filled Alex’s mind.


	9. Chapter 9

Alex stood outside Maggie’s house, staring at the front door. While Kara had been out picking up their dinner, she finally worked up the courage to call the detective and apologize for running off without an explanation. Before Alex could begin to tell Maggie what had happened, Maggie suggested that Alex come over for dinner where they could talk face to face.

Even after having rehearsed what she was going to say over and over in her mind, Alex couldn’t disagree that telling Maggie in person was a better idea. And the mere thought of seeing Maggie again sent a thrill through her body. So Alex had agreed, and the women made plans for dinner the following evening before awkwardly talking about nothing in particular for the next few minutes.

Alex took a deep breath and knocked on the door. The sound of a dog barking inside the house was soon followed by the door opening to reveal Maggie on the other side. Alex’s heart stuttered at the sight of Maggie, casually dressed in dark wash skinny jeans and a blue button-up with the sleeves rolled up to her elbows.

Maggie’s smile was hesitant as she greeted Alex. “Danvers, you made it.”

Alex opened her mouth to speak but was interrupted by another bark followed by a canine head shoving its way between Maggie’s knees and peering up at Alex.

“And this is Roscoe,” Maggie rolled her eyes at the dog’s antics.

Unable to hold back a smile, Alex bent slightly. “Hi, Roscoe.” Standing back up, she looked at Maggie. “I didn’t know you had a dog.”

“He was actually my aunt’s, but I couldn’t stand the idea of giving him away or taking him to a shelter. He’s pretty standoffish with strangers, so don’t be offended if he sits across the room and stares at you.”

Alex laughed, “No offense taken, Roscoe.”

Using her legs to urge Roscoe back, Maggie stepped out of the doorway. “Would you like to come in?”

Stepping past Maggie and into the living room, Alex took in the coziness of the house. None of the furniture looked new but seemed well cared for and comfortable. A knitted afghan lay across the back of the couch. Potted flowers and what appeared to be a bonsai tree sat on a small table near the window next to a desk littered with papers, bills, and case files. Pictures were scattered throughout the room on shelves and tabletops. Alex could tell this wasn’t just a house, it was Maggie’s home.

“I told you not to bring anything.” Maggie’s voice broke through Alex’s thoughts, and she looked at Maggie to find a playful glare on her face.

Remembering the box in her hand, Alex lifted it slightly. “I remembered you mentioned your favorite dessert is tiramisu.”

Maggie’s eyes lit up. “If you also tell me it’s from that little bakery on Canal Street, I might have to invite you over more often.

Alex grinned in response.

Maggie took a step forward but hesitated, eyebrows knitting together.

“What’s wrong?” Alex asked.

Looking at the ground, Maggie put her hands on her hips. She was silent for a moment before looking up at Alex. “I really want to kiss you right now, but I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

Alex stepped into Maggie’s space and grabbed her bicep, pulling her forward. “Please, kiss me.”

Maggie carefully laid her hands on Alex’s waist, giving her time to change her mind before leaning in slowly and placing a soft kiss on Alex’s lips. Eagerly returning the kiss, Alex’s hand slid up Maggie’s arm and onto her neck, thumb resting along her jawline.

Pulling away slowly, Maggie hummed in contentment.

“I’m so sorry, Maggie,” Alex breathed out as tears filled her eyes.

Maggie’s hands moved from Alex’s waist up to cradle her face. “Alex, it’s okay.” Resting her forehead against Alex’s, Maggie swiped her thumbs across Alex’s cheeks. “Why don’t we put the tiramisu in the kitchen, I’ll check on dinner, and then we’ll sit down and talk. Okay?”

Still sniffling, Alex nodded. Maggie stepped back slowly and took Alex’s hand, leading her into the kitchen just off the living room. Trading the box in Alex’s hand with a tissue, Maggie placed the dessert in the refrigerator before stepping over to the oven and opening it slightly to peek inside.

Alex wiped her eyes and her nose as she looked around the kitchen. Much like the living room, Alex could tell this was a well-loved house. The main difference here was that the appliances all appeared to be much newer than the furniture. Between that and the mouthwatering aroma filling the space, Alex got the impression that cooking was something Maggie took seriously.

Seemingly satisfied, Maggie closed the oven and walked back toward Alex. Rubbing her hand along Alex’s arm, Maggie spoke softly, “Why don’t you go in and have a seat on the couch. I’ll get us some water and be right there.”

“Okay,” Alex whispered back in response. At the small smile on Maggie’s face, Alex leaned forward and gave her a gentle kiss before stepping away and walking to the living room.

Taking a seat against one arm of the couch, Alex rubbed her hands over her face. So far, things were going relatively okay. Crying unexpectedly hadn’t been a part of her plan, but the way Maggie was being so careful with her after what had happened caused a wave of guilt to wash over Alex.

Suddenly, a weight dropped onto Alex’s lap. She pulled her hands away from her face to find Roscoe looking up at her with big, brown doe eyes, his head resting on her legs. Remembering what Maggie had said about his feelings toward strangers, Alex carefully moved her hand to place it on his head and scratch his ear. “Hey, buddy.”

The dog leaned into her touch, closing his eyes.

“Oh, wow.”

Alex looked up to find Maggie standing next to the couch, two glasses of ice water in her hand. “You sure he doesn’t like strangers?”

Setting the waters on the coffee table in front of the couch, Maggie huffed out a laugh. “Very sure. He wouldn’t come anywhere near my last girlfriend. Even after Gia got him, it took me coming around every day for a solid month before he warmed up to me. This,” Maggie stated, pointing between Alex and Roscoe, “is not normal.”

“Well, I’ll take it as a compliment,” Alex smiled, holding the dog’s face in her hands, stroking his ears. “I’ve wanted a dog for a long time.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah, but I’ve had a lot going on in my life. I knew it wasn’t fair to bring a dog into that.”

Alex expected a follow-up question to her comment, but instead, Maggie asked, “What would you name it?”

“Gertrude.”

Continuing to scratch Roscoe’s head, Alex realized after a moment that Maggie was silent. She looked up to find Maggie staring at her, one eyebrow cocked.

“Gertrude,” Maggie deadpanned.

Alex looked back down at the dog in front of her, shrugging one shoulder as a slight blush crept up her cheeks. “I may have had an odd obsession with Gertrude Stein when I was younger. I used to imagine what it would have been like to be a member of her salons in Paris. Plus, you know the whole ladies loving ladies part of her life.” Alex paused then laughed, “That really should have been a big, obvious flag for me and my sexuality.”

Maggie chuckled softly, “Nerd.”

Unable to hold back a smile, Alex’s eyes met Maggie’s and found them full of adoration. Scooting closer, Maggie turned her body to face Alex’s, laying her arm along the back of the couch and behind Alex. She glanced at the dog still basking in the ear scratches he was receiving.

“Roscoe, go lay down.”

The dog looked at Maggie before flopping onto the floor at Alex’s feet.

“Close enough, I guess.” Maggie turned her attention to Alex, who was now sitting with her hands clasped in her lap, eyes downcast. “Please, tell me what happened the other night. I’ve been replaying it over and over in my mind trying to figure out what I did wrong.”

As soon as those words left Maggie’s mouth, Alex twisted her body toward Maggie and placed her arm along with Maggie’s on the back of the couch. “You didn’t do anything wrong, Maggie. I promise. I just—there are some things I haven’t told you, and I got scared that I was suddenly going to have to tell you and worried that you would be mad that I hadn’t told you, and I freaked out and ran off instead of just talking to you and-”

“Hey,” Maggie stopped Alex’s rambling with a hand to her cheek, guiding Alex’s wild eyes back to her own. “Just take a breath and start from the beginning.”

Alex did as she was told and took a deep breath before speaking once more, “When we went to the planetarium, I told you about how my dad was killed in a car accident.” When she saw Maggie nod in response, Alex continued, “What I didn’t tell you is that I was in the car with him.”

Seeing Maggie’s eyes widen and then her forehead scrunch in any number of emotions that Alex wasn’t ready to deal with, she barrelled on. “Along with multiple broken bones and a concussion, the trauma and stress of the accident were so severe that it threw my heart out of rhythm and left me with an irregular heartbeat.”

“My god, Alex.” Maggie shifted closer, moving her hand to Alex’s shoulder and squeezing it gently. “I don’t even know what to say.”

“It’s okay,” Alex said quietly, shifting her eyes away from Maggie’s concerned gaze. “It’s my fault for not telling you from the start.”

“Alex, no.” Maggie reached for one of Alex’s hands and continued speaking when Alex looked at her. “That’s not what I meant. You were just a kid. You lost your dad. You almost died.”

Alex saw Maggie’s eyes begin to tear up and she squeezed her hand. “But I didn’t. I’m still here. And if you start crying, I’ll start crying, and I’m not finished yet.”

“Sorry.” Maggie looked up at the ceiling, blinking her eyes rapidly to keep the tears from escaping. After a moment, she brought her head back down and smiled softly at Alex. “Okay, no tears. Go ahead.”

Running her thumb across Maggie’s knuckles, Alex gathered her thoughts back together. “It took a long time for me to recover from the concussion and for my bones to heal, but eventually I did. My heart was a different story. There were times when it would get worse, but I have a great cardiologist who has never been afraid to try any treatment that would allow me to live as comfortably as possible. Until the treatments stopped working, and we were nearly out of options.”

Alex could clearly read the worry on Maggie’s face. Wanting to put her at ease, she continued, “My only hope was a heart transplant. I’d been on the list for a while, but the urgency of my condition pushed me to the top. I waited, and I got worse, and I thought I was going to die. And then a heart came along.”

Letting go of Maggie’s hand, Alex grabbed the neckline of her sweater and pulled it down to reveal her scar. Maggie gasped and then covered her mouth in embarrassment. “I’m sorry.”

Alex reached for Maggie’s hand, drawing it away from her mouth. “It’s okay. I know it’s kind of scary to look at it. But it has healed really well, and it doesn’t hurt anymore.” She placed Maggie’s hand on her scar, giving her permission to touch it. “This is why I freaked out the other night. I was afraid of you seeing my scar.”

“Alex, I would never demand that you share anything with me unless you want to. Yeah, I probably would have been surprised by it just like I was now, but your scar isn’t something to be ashamed of or embarrassed by.”

As Maggie traced her fingers along the puckered skin on Alex’s chest, Alex closed her eyes. “I wish I could say that everyone felt that way when they saw it.”

Alex opened her eyes when she felt Maggie pull her hand away. A flash of anger crossed Maggie’s face and then disappeared as she placed her hand on Alex’s cheek. “Screw anyone that has ever made you think that scar is anything but proof of your strength and resilience. I am in absolute awe of you, Alex.”

The honesty of her statement was written all over Maggie’s face, and Alex surged forward, wrapping her arms around Maggie. “Thank you.”

Maggie responded by hugging Alex back tightly and turning her head to press a kiss to Alex’s temple. They stayed wrapped in one another’s arms until the timer dinged in the kitchen. Giving Alex one last squeeze, Maggie leaned back and looked at her. “I don’t know about you, but I’m starving. Plus the wonderful woman I’m dating brought my favorite dessert, and I’m really looking forward to eating it with her.”

A smile spread across Alex’s face as Maggie stood and held her hand out for Alex to take. They walked to the kitchen, Roscoe following close behind. Maggie led Alex to the table at the other end of the kitchen that Alex hadn’t noticed before. It was set for two, and a bottle of sparkling grape juice was chilling in a bucket of ice on one corner. Once Alex was seated, Maggie went to the oven to turn off the timer and pull out the dish that had been cooking inside, while Roscoe made himself comfortable on the floor at Alex’s feet.

Alex’s mouth watered as Maggie placed what turned out to be a dish of lasagna in the center of the table. She went back to the oven once more and returned with a loaf of garlic bread wrapped in tin foil. Maggie sat and offered the serving spoon to Alex as she poured both of them a glass of the sparkling grape juice. After spooning her own portion of lasagna onto her plate, Maggie raised her wine glass of sparkling juice and held it toward Alex.

“To more dates and time spent getting to know one another.”

Smiling as she clinked her glass against Maggie’s, Alex took a sip before putting the glass down and digging into the food on her plate. As soon as she took her first bite, Alex let out a moan.

“This is delicious, Maggie.”

“Thanks, Danvers,” Maggie chuckled. “You keep making sounds like that, and I’ll gladly cook for you every night.”

Alex’s mouth dropped open, but Maggie continued to eat as if nothing had happened. They ate and chatted. Alex complimented Maggie on the parts of the house she had seen so far, and Maggie revealed that it had been Gia’s house, but she hadn’t had the heart to put it up for sale.

“She bought it during my last year of high school. We’d been living in a small apartment that she had never intended to share with a fourteen-year-old. Gia never said a word, but she spent three years saving up enough money for a down payment on a house. She wanted me to have a real home, and even after I went to college and started my own life, I always knew this was a place I could come back to and be welcomed with open arms.”

Alex shared stories about growing up with Kara. “She’s basically a human puppy, but she’s been there for me through everything. After the accident, she had to take on a lot of responsibility that she didn’t sign up for, and she never once complained. Kara’s the best sister I ever could have asked for.”

Roscoe snuggled close to Alex’s legs under the table, causing Maggie to laugh and smile at Alex. “He’s really drawn to you.”

After dinner, Maggie broke open the box of tiramisu. Alex passed on dessert, her stomach full after two servings of Maggie’s lasagna. That didn’t stop Maggie from offering Alex bites from her own fork. Alex never thought she’d be the type of person who enjoyed being fed by someone else, but she found she definitely didn’t mind when that someone else was Maggie.

Once dessert was finished, Maggie sent Alex back into the living room while she put away the food and cleared the dishes from the table. After offering to help and being sternly but kindly refused by Maggie, Alex found herself wandering around the living room, looking at the various pictures of Maggie and her aunt. Roscoe sat in the middle of the room watching her move from picture to picture.

There was a framed photo that looked like it had been taken at Maggie’s high school graduation sitting next to another framed photo from her college graduation. The pride in Gia’s eyes clearly shone in both pictures. Another photo showed Maggie with puppy Roscoe. Just as Alex moved to look at a picture of Maggie posing in her police uniform, she heard the other woman walk into the room.

“Your aunt was obviously very proud of you.” Alex turned to face Maggie who was standing next to Roscoe, a leash in her hand. “I just wish there were more photos of little Maggie. I have a feeling those dimples were absolute ladykillers on a kid.”

“I’m pretty sure they still have the same effect if your reactions to them are any indication,” Maggie laughed as she clipped the leash onto Roscoe’s collar. “The only photo Gia had of me when I was little is from a Christmas at my grandparents’ house when I was six. It’s on the desk over there. I’m going to take Roscoe out real quick. I’ll be right back.”

As Maggie stepped out the front door, Alex walked to the desk across the room, finding the picture of little Maggie sitting there. Smiling as she picked up the frame, Alex could easily see the features of the woman she was falling for in the face of the child in the picture. A teenage Gia had her arms wrapped around Maggie’s midsection, their faces pressed together and both grinning for the camera.

Setting the frame back on the desk, a glimpse of blue caught Alex’s attention. Lifting the frame once more, Alex gently pulled out a familiar wrinkled, blue envelope that was mixed in a pile of papers under the picture. The envelope remained unopened, and the back of it had a name and phone number messily written across it.

Alex’s heart was racing as she turned the envelope over in her hands, hoping she was wrong. Looking at the front, Alex’s fears were confirmed as she saw her own handwriting scrawled across the envelope.

To My Donor’s Family

Alex stared at the envelope, processing what it meant that it was here in Maggie’s house, on her desk. She was still standing in that same spot when Maggie came back inside with Roscoe.

“So what’s the verdict?” Maggie asked from behind her. “Were my dimples as devastatingly adorable as you pictured?”

Unable to bring herself to speak, Alex continued to clutch the blue envelope in her hand. She heard Maggie step closer and then felt a hand on her back.

“Alex?”

Alex turned her head to look at Maggie. Never had she dreamed she would be lucky enough to meet someone as kind and generous as the woman standing before her. Someone who knew what Alex had been through, had seen the scar that remained and looked at her not with pity but with admiration. This beautiful woman that Alex had started to imagine the possibility of spending the rest of her life with. This woman that she was about to destroy with the envelope in her hand.

Holding up the envelope, Alex willed herself not to cry. Not yet. “Maggie, why do you have this?”

Confusion filled Maggie’s face as she reached forward to take the envelope from Alex. “What?” As she turned the envelope around, the confusion cleared and was replaced with sadness. “Oh, this. Gia was an organ donor. I didn’t ask specifics when the hospital approached me, I just wanted to honor Gia’s wishes. I got this a few days ago, but I haven’t been able to bring myself to open it.”

Alex sucked in a breath as she stepped away from the desk and Maggie, arms wrapped tightly around herself. “Fuck,” she whispered as the tears she’d been trying to hold back filled her eyes.

“Alex, you’re starting to worry me. What’s going on?”

Gathering herself as much as she could, Alex turned back to face Maggie. “That’s my letter.”

“What?” Maggie asked, her confusion returning.

“Do you remember that day we met in the bar?”

“Yeah, you were worried about sending a letter you thought would remind someone of something bad that had happened.” Maggie’s eyes widened. “Oh.”

Alex huffed out a laugh that held no humor. “Yeah.”

She could see Maggie’s wheels turning as she looked from the letter to Alex. Maggie finally spoke, “That means you...”

“Have your aunt’s heart.” Alex quietly finished for her.

The color seemed to drain from Maggie’s face as she dropped heavily into the chair at the desk, still grasping the letter tightly in her hand. Roscoe padded over slowly and sat in front of Maggie, softly laying his head in her lap. Alex’s eyes remained on Maggie as silence filled the space around them.

Unable to take the quiet any longer, Alex spoke, “Maggie, please say something.”

“I..I just...I don’t...You…” Eyes unfocused, Maggie stood and turned toward the kitchen. “I think I need something to drink.”

Alex watched as Maggie walked out of the room. Unable to imagine any scenario that didn’t end in Maggie telling her to leave, Alex found herself running away again.


	10. Chapter 10

As she watched the sun slowly sink behind the buildings surrounding her, Alex could feel a slight chill in the air, a sign that summer was falling slowly into autumn. Curled against Eliza on the rooftop garden bench, Alex pulled her blanket tighter around her body as Eliza flipped a page in the book she was reading. Alex gazed at the twinkle lights around the garden that were coming to life as the sky grew darker.

It had been two days since finding out it was Maggie’s aunt’s heart that had saved her life. Two days since she’d run away from Maggie, again. Alex hadn’t seen or heard from Maggie since. She was sure her relationship -- could it really be called a relationship if they’d only been on three dates, two of which had ended in Alex running away? -- with Maggie was over for good.

Alex still wasn’t sure how she’d made it back home. Once she stepped through the front door, she had collapsed to the floor, sobs overtaking her. Through her tears, Alex had dialed Kara’s number, scaring her sister when she’d been unable to respond to her questions. Alex couldn’t remember much of what Kara had said, only that she had stayed on the phone with Alex as she’d raced to her apartment.

As Kara had attempted to comfort her, Alex had only been able to offer bits and pieces of what had happened between her sobs. Eventually, the tears subsided, but Alex’s sorrow did not. Answering questions with nothing more than a nod or shake of her head, Alex had been led to her bed and helped to undress before sliding under the covers and passing out from exhaustion.

When she had woken the next morning, Alex found Eliza seated at her counter as Kara slept on the couch. Fresh tears sprang to Alex’s eyes at the sight of her mother, and Eliza had quickly crossed the apartment and crawled onto her daughter’s bed, pulling Alex into her arms. Keeping her voice quiet and soothing, Eliza explained that, after Alex had fallen asleep, Kara had called her in a panic and relayed as much information as she had been able to piece together. Immediately, Eliza had packed a bag and gotten in her car, driving as quickly as she could to get to her daughters.

Alex had spent years looking forward to the day when she would finally be well enough to live alone and take care of herself. Now she was grateful to have her mother and sister by her side as she navigated her grief. Dropping her head to Eliza’s shoulders, Alex let her eyes slip shut as she listened to the sounds of the city.

After a few moments, Alex heard the door to the rooftop open behind her. She opened her eyes to find Kara standing before her with a tray. Setting the tray on a nearby table, Kara handed a steaming mug to Alex and then to Eliza, taking a third into her own hands and wrapping her fingers around it.

“Thank you, Kara,” Eliza said, as she closed her book and set it aside.

Alex raised her mug to her nose and took in a deep breath. Lavender filled her senses, and Alex thought back on all of her memories of Kara making the tea for her whenever she had been sad or upset. She looked up to see Kara’s hopeful eyes on her. Alex offered her sister a small smile.

“Just what I needed. Thank you.”

Kara returned the smile, lifting her mug to her lips as she took a seat in a nearby chair.

The Danvers women sat in silence, sipping their tea, and watching as the sky grew darker above them. Eventually, Kara broke the quiet.

“Have you decided what you’re going to do?”

“About what?” Alex asked, looking into her mug. She knew what Kara was asking, but she wasn’t sure she was ready to voice her thoughts out loud.

“About Maggie,” Kara answered quietly.

Alex took a deep breath. Had she truly decided? Could she live with her decision? Her head and her heart were at odds, but she had spent so much of her life following one over the other. Once again, Alex’s head was winning the battle.

“It’s better if I just walk away.”

Seeing Kara’s eyebrows furrow, Alex sighed and continued, “Her aunt meant everything to her, and I would be a daily reminder that she’s gone. How can I be happy to be alive and that I get to be with Maggie when the reason it’s possible is because her aunt died?”

Alex felt Eliza’s arm wrap around her shoulders. As tears slipped from her eyes, Alex let out a self-deprecating laugh. “I should have known this would happen. I was happy for five minutes.”

“Alex,” Kara reached forward, placing her hand on her sister’s knee.

Staring into her tea, Alex shook her head. “I feel like the universe is magically smacking me down from being happy. I can have a heart, or I can have love, but I can’t have both.”

Finally admitting her feelings for Maggie, Alex leaned further into Eliza as more tears fell from her eyes.

“I think you’re wrong.”

Alex looked up to see Kara smiling softly at her. She scoffed, turning her gaze to the city skyline as she wiped away her tears. A squeeze to her knee brought Alex’s eyes back to her sister’s.

“Please don’t be mad at me.”

Confused, Alex opened her mouth to ask what Kara was talking about when a voice from behind stopped her.

“I think you’re wrong, too.”

Alex sat up and looked over her shoulder to find Maggie standing by the rooftop door. How long had she been standing there? She felt Eliza withdraw her arm and lean in close before whispering, “Listen to your heart.”

Unable to take her eyes off of Maggie, Alex could only nod in answer.

As Maggie stepped closer to the bench, Eliza and Kara made their way to the door, leaving the women alone on the rooftop.

“Is it okay if I sit?” Maggie motioned to the side of the bench that was now empty.

Alex breathed out, “Yeah. Yes.”

Taking a seat, Maggie clasped her hands together in her lap and looked out at the city. “You have a beautiful view from up here.”

“I didn’t think I’d see you again,” Alex stated quietly, eyes tracing over Maggie’s face.

Maggie turned toward Alex. “I’m sorry.”

“You’re sorry? I’m the one who should be saying that to you.” Alex dropped her gaze, unable to look at Maggie as she added, “I honestly don’t know how you’re sitting here with me right now.”

“Alex.”

Fighting the urge to look up, Alex closed her eyes before she felt warm hands take hold of her own.

“Please, look at me.”

Unable to resist the plea in Maggie’s voice, Alex finally raised her eyes and found herself drowning in what had quickly become her favorite shade of brown. She wanted the chance to look at those eyes, to feel the warmth of those hands every day for the rest of her life. Alex’s heart stuttered at the thought. Her head reminded her it wasn’t possible.

Maggie squeezed Alex’s hands, seeming to realize she’d lost her attention. “I don’t blame you.” Before disbelief could make Alex look away again, Maggie reached up and cupped her cheek, keeping Alex’s focus on her as she repeated, “I don’t blame you.”

Tears began to form in Alex’s eyes. She tried to let those words sink in, but Alex’s head was fighting her, telling her that Maggie couldn’t possibly mean what she was saying. Alex asked, “How?”

Shaking her head, Maggie looked down at their joined hands. “The way I reacted, after you told me that you had Gia’s heart, I’m sorry. The idea of Gia being an organ donor was one thing, but the reality of finding out that a part of her is keeping you alive. It was a lot to take in. But I never should have let you leave like that. I never should have let you leave thinking I blamed you. I don’t know if I can forgive myself for that.”

“Even if you don’t blame me, how could you ever want to be with me when I’m just a reminder that Gia’s gone?”

Alex watched as Maggie seemed to consider her words. Suddenly, Maggie stood, still holding one of Alex’s hands. “Come look at the city with me?”

Confused, Alex allowed the blanket to fall from her lap as she got to her feet and followed Maggie to the edge of the rooftop. Even though it was evening, the city was still full of life as people strolled along the sidewalks and cars filled the streets.

“Of all of the people in this city, what are the odds that I meet the one who happens to have my aunt’s heart?” Maggie turned toward Alex. “What are the odds that I get to know the incredible woman whose life my aunt was able to save?” Maggie stepped closer, placing her hand on Alex’s chest. She took a ragged breath, a tear slipping down her cheek. “This is a heart that’s been loved so deeply. What are the odds that I would get to keep loving it? Because I am falling helplessly in love with you, Alex Danvers.”

Her own tears falling, Alex put a hand to her mouth, at a loss for words.

Stepping even closer, Maggie whispered, “I know it sounds crazy, but I love you, Alex.”

Alex surged forward, throwing her arms around Maggie as she finally let her heart win out. Face pressed into Maggie’s neck, Alex replied, “I love you, too, Maggie.”

She felt Maggie pull back, and Alex lifted her head to find Maggie looking at her with hopeful eyes. “Yeah?”

Alex smiled, nodding as she leaned in closer. “Yeah.”

Pressing her lips to Maggie’s, Alex felt a sudden lightness come over her. Standing there in the arms of the woman she loved, the woman who loved her back, Alex finally let the guilt and the fear float away. For the first time in her life, Alex could see her future opening up before her. A future she knew she wanted to share with Maggie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you know the movie and haven't already guessed, this story is very loosely based on Return to Me.
> 
> Thank you so much for reading!
> 
> Sanvers is endgame.
> 
> And if you haven't already checked out the artwork for this story, make sure you do and give kudos! Dani deserves them!
> 
> <https://archiveofourown.org/works/26929324>


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